Hello blog-reading-peoples.
I wanted to say something about not blogging for so so long and why I have been absent and so on, but if I get started, I'm going to get sidetracked. So, I am simply sharing an article I just read on Huffington
Post, because it speaks to ME!!!
I am trying to make a change in our mornings at home –
I absolutely detest rushed mornings and the nagging and chasing to get ready…
then arriving at work befrumpled and begrumpled.
Things. Have. Got. To.
Change.
Thus, when I found this article, it was like reading
an entry from my diary. If I were keeping a diary. And if I were so
eloquent. And if I had in fact put these measures in place already.
Which I have not.
But I am willing to try. Wanna try with me?
Hugs to my fave peeps. And a dose of caffeine
for good measure.
x Char.
[ An article by Allison Hart, from Huffington Post ]
"Two things I know about myself: I am inherently lazy and I am
predominantly grumpy.
Sure,
I can be motivated and cheerful, but it's a fight. As an insomniac, I'm also
usually tired and the extra effort required to overcome my natural grumpy
laziness takes even more energy. So it doesn't happen first thing in the
morning very often. Which sucks if you're my kids. (And probably my husband.)
My
kids wake up happy! and excited! and energized! and all things exclamation
pointy! I wake up grudgingly. It's not always actual waking up, just a change
from being angrily awake in bed to being angrily awake not in bed.
Add to this mix the fact that Luke is an early riser, and you have a recipe
made for watching morning TV.
Over
the years, each time my kids plugged into early morning TV I felt a pang of
guilt. For the longest time I kept the programming to the PBS variety, and it
made it feel alright. "It's
OK if they watch a little Arthur or Martha Speaks before school. They're learning
stuff. And, mmmmm coffee." But "a
little" was actually "a lot" and eventually, the shows were not
of the PBS variety.
So we
slid down the slippery slope of children's programming, and soon my kids were
watching obnoxious TV shows and were acting obnoxious accordingly. As much as
I'd like to deny it, the truth is that they watched hours of TV on most days.
We don't have to leave our house for school until 8:20 or so, and with Luke's
love for 6 a.m., you can see how the hours might accumulate.
It
does not take a parenting guru to see the correlation between my kids' behavior
and their TV consumption. The change in them is pretty immediate. Happy
children sit down in front of the TV, cranky children walk away from it. Every
time. Something had to change. But to take away morning TV meant that I would
have to step up my game. Did I want to do this? While they plugged into their
thing, I plugged into mine. After taking care of breakfasts and lunches, I'd
sip coffee while catching up on Facebook. Technology ruled our mornings. Any
change was going to be rough on all of us.
And
then, just like that, I had enough. It was a typical weekend day. Beautiful
outside. I decided there would be no TV. Sally balked but then quickly busied
herself with her toys.
Luke
balked, then fought, then complained, then cried, then fought, then complained,
then tried to sabotage Sally's fun, then fought, then complained, then cried...
This went on for five hours. See, not only did I say no TV, (or any iDevice,)
but I also insisted that he entertain himself. No, Daddy would not play soccer
and no, I would not play games. Mom and Dad were busy.
Five
hours. It took five hours for my 7.5 year old to figure out how to play without
the help of technology or the undivided attention of an adult. Five hours where
he tried to spread as much misery as possible. Somehow, my husband and I stuck
it out, not knowing if it would ever end. We paid him as little attention as
possible, knowing that, for him, negative attention is just as good as any.
After
those five terrible hours something amazing happened. Luke noticed his long
ignored Legos. Both kids played with Legos for hours -- in between snacks,
fights and meals. The day closed with both kids happy.
That
night I told the kids there would be no TV in the morning. We hid the remotes,
the computer mouse and the iPad just in case a sneaky early riser
"forgot." The kids were surprisingly accepting of the morning's
dearth of technology. They never even asked. They played. I certainly couldn't
go sit at my computer, so I busied myself with chores I normally leave until
after they're off to school.
Is
this what it's like to be one of those nice families?
OK,
so that's one day. Surely this will get hard. That night we again told them
there would be no TV in the morning. We again hid all the things. They again
didn't ask. This time, we played several rounds of Uno together. The kids were
DELIGHTED. So much so that I felt like the world's worst mom.
Look
how happy my kids are just to get a smidge of attention from me in the morning.
Holy sh*t have I sucked for all these years!
It's
now been nearly two full weeks of no TV in the mornings. This means no computer
time for me too, and I have to muster up a lot of friendliness before I've
finished even my first cup of coffee. I can't tell you how much of a difference
it's made. Just starting our day with a little more effort helps us all have
better days. Leaving the house for school requires so much less reminding,
rushing and nagging on my part and involves so much less complaining on theirs.
They haven't been asking for much afternoon TV either.
Will
things change when the weather gets colder? Possibly. I hope we land somewhere
moderate. Things had really gotten out of control for a while there.
Could
I have done this as successfully years ago? Maybe, maybe not. I don't see much
point in looking back though. There were a few years when survival was the name
of the game. I'm happy to report that we did indeed survive them.
Many
of you are probably thinking, Of course things are better! And
yes, you were a shitty parent all those years! Fine.
Judge away if it makes you feel good about yourself.
But
for anyone reading who is thinking, I could never do it. I need that
morning TV time for my sanity! I have something to
say: That's OK. I needed it too. And then, one day, I didn't."
See why I wanted to share it?
