Friday, 6 June 2008

Parenting aint for sissies

Warning: This post contains details of poop. May offend sensitive readers. (haha!)

My heart is breaking for my lil sugar-booger... she has gone from jippo-guts to constipation of note. Poor little bunny. And my poor blog readers too - this blog is turning into a bit of a POOP CHRONICLES. Thank goodness one of my friends is a pediatric surgeon, and another of my friends is a homeopath specialising in childcare... They talk sense into my panicked brain all hours of the day and night when I phone them asking a gazillion-and-one questions. Were it not for them, I might have gone around the bend already. Well, more around the bend than I already am, that is. Is parenting supposed to be this hard? Or am I just a little more paranoid than most parents? Hmmm... OK, don't answer that.

Anyhoo... It turns out that I'm quite a good poop-scooper after all. When it comes to changing nappies (that's diapers in Americanese) I can do it with my eyes closed by now. Not really closed. But you know what I mean. And now, as an added dimension to the Poop Scooping Posse, I have added bum massage and bicycle-legging to the nappy-changing schedule. They say it helps to get the, um, er, bowels moving. At this stage, I'm willing to try anything, y'all.

In one of our nappy-changing sessions, my mom and I were doing the Poop Brigade, i.e. one of us holds sugar-booger, the other gets the changing table ready with all the goodies we're going to need. Then we do the whole nappy change together. One holds the legs, the other wipes the derier. Quick!, remove nappy, place new one under the buttocks, wipe, tuck, fold and attach. Simple really. Until the, um, poop, is still traversing the dungshoot and the new nappy is not yet in place under the exhaust pipe. If you know what I'm saying. Then both granny and mommy jump around the room going 'Ew! Ew! Where's another Bum Wipe? Quick! You get it! No, I'll get it! OK, one of us better get it, and SOON!' by which stage the poop is already landing on the nifty easily-cleanable changing table's surface. Thank Heavens for plastic changing mats!

So, this one time (and yes, this has happened more than once and yes, you'd think we'd have learned our lesson by now...) neither of us were quick enough in grabbing another Bum Wipe. And so my mom, Poop Scooper of Note, caught the protruding offender in her hand. I kid you not. I was laughing so hard I couldn't offer any assistance.

For about one whole hour.

And then, (yes, it gets better!) my mom walked to the rubbish bin with the log in her hand, and just as she lifted the lid on the bin, the parcel in her hand landed on the floor and she had to pick it up off of the floor to throw it away! Too funny! My sides are still hurting for laughing so hard.

Anyhoo. I told you it was gross. Don't blame me. You kept reading after I posted an OFFICIAL WARNING at the top of this post. Haha!

Here is a pic of my fave sis (Aurette) with my punkin. This one was taken last Saturday already.

And this is little Ethan (Aurette's son) with his new cuzzy.

(The puppy had to be in the pic. It goes everywhere with him! Too cute!)


Carla said...

LOL, and now you know why "Mommy Blogs" seem to revolve around such disgusting things. It truly takes over your life. Parenting IS hard, but it does sort of get easier...sort of.

Kelly said...

both my kids pooped on my mom. It was so funny.

Carlykins said...

Seriously I needed this post. I LOVE how you describe things! I am ROLLING!!!! You are great! I love it. So glad you have this blog to remember such precious memories even if it consist of fecal matter. =)

Spanglish said...

Your pics made me miss my ladybug when she was a newborn. Your daughter is just gorgeous gorgeous. I bet even her poo is gorgeous.

Hanlie said...

hehe...yes, that's what being a mom holds...being pooped on, spat up on, bitten, peeded on, vomited on...and it's all wonderful!!! Enjoy my friend, they grow up way to fast.

Katrin said...

This is hilarious! I remember when a friend of mine had her baby and ALL I EVER HEARD were poop stories. But she is adorable, really. Such a little cutie. :)

JamieD said...

Nothing bother me - you can tell me poop stories all day!

She is so beautiful!

Beth said...

What a great post! My kids are 4 and 5 so I am well past the diaper stage but I still love a good poop story!

Found you on CWO...thanks for a great Monday laugh!

Irritable Mother said...

Welcome to motherhood! LOL
My craziest poop story? I was wiping my son's bottom, holding his legs up, and - WHAMMO! - he fired away and the poop smacked the wall! I actually took a picture before I cleaned it up because I was sure no one would believe me. Ha!

Read this verse this morning and thought of you: He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Psalm 113:9
I am so happy for you, Char. You're right, parenting aint for sissies. But it is a huge blessing. (And when you start to feel like it's a curse, you'll have to read my book. *grin*)

Hilda said...

Hi, hoe gaan dit met borsvoeding, ek vra omdat ek ook in aannemingsproses is en hoop om sukses stories te hoor.
Verder wil ek ook weet of jy kan raad gee hoe om kontak te maak met 'n Maarskaplike werker in SA wat privaat adoption doen. Ons is tans in VSA en probeer hier aanneem maar ek word soms moedeloos dat dit nooit gaan gebeur nie, ek voel as my kanse groter gaan wees in SA dat ons sal terug keer SA toe (dit is in elk geval ons langtermyn plan) Dankie en Geluk met kleinding, sy is pragtig. (