Nervous tic(k)

Did you ever read the email that did the rounds a year or more ago, about the woman who attempted to help her son's lizard (maybe a gecko?) give birth, but unbeknown to her, gecko's don't give birth to live young and she was actually just yanking it's, uh, ahem, chain?

(Yeah, it's all downhill from here. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Wellll, monkey see, monkey do. And yeah, you guessed it, I'm the monkey. Minus the gecko. But add one big fat city slicker cat that we adopted from my sister when they moved to New Zealand last month. But that's a whole other story, and one that I'll only be telling when it no longer reduces me to crocodile tears.

Anyhoo... Where was I? Oh yes.

It won't be news to y'all that I'm still pretty much a city slicker myself, so I don't do bugs too easily. Warra warra fish paste, long story short, it's the end of a long day and I'm doing the Hillbilly Couch Potato Thing this evening after the rest of the Hillbilly Household have hit the hay, when Big Fat City Slicker Cat hops up onto the couch next to me for a snuggle and a nibble of my KFC sprinkle pops, when SHOCK! HORROR! What do I spy dangling from her torso but a big fat spongy tick! And where was Hubby when I needed him, but already throwing some ZZzzz's around the room! Well, there aint no way I'm going to bed tonight wondering if Angel (the big fat city slicker cat) is hoping to follow me to bed with that grotesque parasite dangling from her... So off I run to the trusty bathroom cabinet to grab my tweezer and return to detick fatcat. Only, by the time I've summoned up my courage and swallowed the bile collecting in my mouth, placed the tweezer tips firmly on the tick and yanked... It's only then that I see it is more firmly attached than a tick... It is in fact a fat cat nipple! And I will never be grabbing anything ever again with a tweezer. I am so grossed out that I can't sleep. Ew. Poor cat. The next time she sees a tweezer coming it will be enough to give her a nervous tic.