Monday, 5 May 2008

Galactogazookas and other instruments of torture

Galactogogues, guys. It's all about the galactogogues right now. Galactogogues and boob suckers breast pumps. As if my poor little, wait, make that ginormous gazookas haven't been punished enough!

I have done some research. And my mom-in-law has also. (If you ever want to know anything about natural medicine, she's the lady to ask! She knows people who know people who know things. Clever things. Like home remedies for infections. Which may or may not include nutmeg. And if you know my mom-in-law, then you'll probably have had some of those famous concoctions. With nutmeg. Feel free to send requests for home remedies - unless you’re allergic to nutmeg, that is. Me and my mom-in-law - we're tight!) Together we (mom-in-law and I) have found something called Eglolyn. And that's supposed to help me to be able to breastfeed. I must admit I was a bit scared off of the idea of popping them after I did some googling and found a few articles which said that eglolyn is the best medicine for schizophrenics. And people who suffer from depression. Well, righty ho then. Suits me just fine!

That, and an enormous instrument of torture. The box says it's an Avent Breast Pump. Me thinks they need to rethink that name. I never knew my nipples could stretch so far! That thing could suck the lava out of a volcano on the other side of the planet! My poor pointies are still recovering, and I haven’t used it in like three days. Woe betide me when I'm popping them pills AND pumping those suckers.


Sunday, 4 May 2008

The dust is settling

Did you know that sawdust is like totally funky? Seriously. It creaps in EVERY. FREAKING. WHERE. Thank Heavens my maid is coming tomorrow! Hopefully by then we'll be finished building cupboards for the nursery. Then it will just be paint fumes. And hey! Who minds a little bit of a paintfumeinducedhigh every now and again, right? It might even help me to get a little bit of sleep before Jesse-Lee arrives home.


Friday, 2 May 2008

Eating Humble Pie

So, you all know of my disdain for Faceb**k, right? Call me stupid ignorant, but I never set my notifications properly, so my inbox was always getting chockablock with all manner of obnoxious requests, e.g. Zombie application invitations... (I mean???) Hatch an Egg invitations... (WHY would I want to hatch an egg???) Needless to say, I wanted to deregister forthwith. Until I found a bunch of old school friends on Facebook. And by old, I mean ooooollllldddd... as in, as you found out this week, we actually used to watch McGuyver. And The A-team. And if you remember Chips, then well, let's just say that your walking stick is going to need some polishing. And they weren't reruns either! Those were the days folks. Days when saying "I love it when a plan comes together" didn't ellicit stares of confusion from people around you.

Anyhoo.

Faceb**k. Oh yes. Huge disdain on my part. Total irritation at the number of stupid applications on there. I became quite vocal about Faceb**k Schmacebook et Cetera.

Until this week. I found one of the girls I used to au-pair in Germany ten years ago on Faceb**k (and she is just awesome and all grown up and graceful and I am SO proud to have au-paired her!) and now I am TOTALLY in love with Faceb**k! Yay for Faceb**k!!!

Can I just go ahead and say it?

Ahem.

I was wrong. And Humble Pie aint tasty, I'll tell you that much.