Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Tips and Tricks, Edition 1

Hi guys. My blog is giving me error messages again. (What's new, right?) So it might be a while before I can share some more pics of our caramel pie with you again. In the meantime, it might be a good idea for me to share a few things with you that have been happening.

And now I'm sitting here wondering just how to share with you all the thoughts and run-amock-emotions that we've experienced since our noony came home...

Firstly, let me just say, there are a few tips and tricks I've learned mighty fast, y'all. So, if you're preggo's and would love another batch of unsolicited advice from someone you've never met who knows ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING about rearing a newborn, now's your opportunity to run and grab a pen and paper...

1. Cradle Cap isn't catchy. Even though you might still feel the need to wear rubber gloves when you touch her.

2. Contrary to your worst nightmares, ingesting a little bit of baby's wee will NOT render you dead within ten seconds. Or two minutes, for that matter. Investing in a pack of minty gum might lessen the pure horror of the taste sensation though. Then again, if you're a fan of dried fish, this might well be your, ahem, cup of tea. Or pee. OK, ew. Now I'm even grossing myself out.

3. Do NOT squeeze any little zits that appear on your baby's face. I repeat. DO NOT squeeze any pimples on your child's face. Step awwwwwaaaaaay from the child. Put away that insatiable desire to see that bubble explode! Go and put on those rubber gloves again (see advice number 1) if you cannot restrain yourself. It works. Believe me. It is virtually impossible to squeeze a zit with yellow rubber gloves on your hands.

4. When your baby is screaming bloody blue murder and you have implemented the process of elimination to determine why she's about to break the sound barrier, (a. is she hungry? b. does she have a wind stuck? c. does she have a wet bottom even though you changed her just five minutes ago? d. is she tired? - helllllo! I'm also tired!) and you don't know what to do with her anymore, a few drops of Rescue Remedy often does the trick. For me, not her. I have been sorely tempted to dose her with some Paediatric Panado on the odd occassion when she's got the wrigglies in the middle of the night and my matchsticks no longer want to hold up my eyelids, but hitherto have dodged the temptation. It was a close call a few times, but hey, a miss is as good as a mile, right?

I have many more nifty tips, but right now my butterscotch pudding is putting my resistance to the test asking for attention. And now she's giving me another one of her dazzlers... Who could possibly resist?


Josephine said...

It sounds as if you are experiencing all the joy's of motherhood... Have fun! Missing you guys a lot. Love Jo Brad & the kids

Kelly said...

What is rescue remedy? alcohol? hee hee. good advice about the pimples..they do go away eventually.

JamieD said...

Thanks for the advice! Even if I can't put it to use just yet, it still makes me laugh!

Amy said...

You humor is so American! Oh my yuo make me laugh! The picts are darling!