Tips and Tricks, Edition 2

How could I have overlooked sharing this one with you? If the man in your life is as clever as mine, then right about now, you should be sitting forward in your seat. Allow me to explain. See, when Hubby Dearest and I were freshly-weds back in the day, we were all gung-ho about sharing chores, et cetera, warra warra fish paste. You know, all that pie in the sky / bed of roses kinda stuff. My hubby must've gotten a few tips n tricks from some of his married pals, because come dishwashing time, my hubby galantly volunteered to wash all of the dishes. Wow!, I thought! I totally hit the jackpot with this man of mine! And then Hubby Dearest proceeded to wash the dishes SO BADLY that I politely declined all of his offers to wash the dishes thereafter. See? Totally devious clever man I have.

Fast forward seven and a half years to the arrival of our sugar dumpling. Hubby Dearest galantly offers to share all baby-duties with overtired wife. Can you tell where this is going? Yuuupppp. OK, so we split the chores. Hubby feeds all eight pets and the chickens every night when he gets home. Char feeds the sugar booger. Hubby makes his own supper every night. Char scoffs all the chocolates and crisps in the pantry cupboard eats whatever she can lay her hands on. Hubby takes the early morning shift with the sugar booger (from approximately 4 a.m. until approximately 6:30 a.m.). Char mans the night shift. Both parents are super happy with the very nifty plan, because Char is a night owl anyway, and Robin always wakes up with the fowls anyway. SO... plan is enacted. All's well that almost ends well. Well, until hubby starts rushing the nappy changing in the mornings, because punkin pie is starting to get the wriggles. Great fun. She waits until you're about to close the nappy, then she does the jig and watches you trying to pin her legs down with your elbows and hold the nappy down with your one hand, while pushing the legs away from the sticky part of the nappy and... you get the picture. No problemo for hubby, he just half attaches the nappy, then closes it all with the press-studded vest, hoping it will hold everything in place. Then, at our shift change time, Char finds all manner of interesting things in baby's vest and leggings. If you know what I mean.

Lucky for me, I see through Hubby Dearest's sabotage. Lucky for him, he's friggin hot.

Needless to say, there will be a few lessons in holding down the wriggling monster and strapping her into a poop-catcher nappy-changing taking place in the Hillbilly Household soon. Beginning with how to avoid getting your shoes wet. And that's all I have to say about that.