The girlchild turns 8.

I kid you not.

It has been EIGHT WHOLE YEARS since this happened. 

Sometimes I forget how it felt - the yearning for a little person to call me "mommy".  And then, I meander back to my blog to look at the pics of just how little she was, and I remember all the anguish and impatience and desperation to have a child. Then I realise that all of those yearny feelings are gone, baby, gone.

How lucky am I?

Happy birthday, my little girly-snokkels. Mommy loves you SO very much!

To TV or not to TV? That is the question.

Hello blog-reading-peoples.

I wanted to say something about not blogging for so so long  and why I have been absent and so on, but if I get started, I'm going to get sidetracked.  So, I am simply sharing an article I just read on Huffington Post, because it speaks to ME!!!

I am trying to make a change in our mornings at home – I absolutely detest rushed mornings and the nagging and chasing to get ready… then arriving at work befrumpled and begrumpled.  

Things. Have. Got. To. Change.

Thus, when I found this article, it was like reading an entry from my diary.  If I were keeping a diary.  And if I were so eloquent.  And if I had in fact put these measures in place already.

Which I have not.

But I am willing to try.  Wanna try with me?

Hugs to my fave peeps.  And a dose of caffeine for good measure.

x Char.

---

[ An article by Allison Hart, from Huffington Post ]

"Two things I know about myself: I am inherently lazy and I am predominantly grumpy.

Sure, I can be motivated and cheerful, but it's a fight. As an insomniac, I'm also usually tired and the extra effort required to overcome my natural grumpy laziness takes even more energy. So it doesn't happen first thing in the morning very often. Which sucks if you're my kids. (And probably my husband.)

My kids wake up happy! and excited! and energized! and all things exclamation pointy! I wake up grudgingly. It's not always actual waking up, just a change from being angrily awake in bed to being angrily awake not in bed. Add to this mix the fact that Luke is an early riser, and you have a recipe made for watching morning TV.

Over the years, each time my kids plugged into early morning TV I felt a pang of guilt. For the longest time I kept the programming to the PBS variety, and it made it feel alright. "It's OK if they watch a little Arthur or Martha Speaks before school. They're learning stuff. And, mmmmm coffee." But "a little" was actually "a lot" and eventually, the shows were not of the PBS variety.

So we slid down the slippery slope of children's programming, and soon my kids were watching obnoxious TV shows and were acting obnoxious accordingly. As much as I'd like to deny it, the truth is that they watched hours of TV on most days. We don't have to leave our house for school until 8:20 or so, and with Luke's love for 6 a.m., you can see how the hours might accumulate.

It does not take a parenting guru to see the correlation between my kids' behavior and their TV consumption. The change in them is pretty immediate. Happy children sit down in front of the TV, cranky children walk away from it. Every time. Something had to change. But to take away morning TV meant that I would have to step up my game. Did I want to do this? While they plugged into their thing, I plugged into mine. After taking care of breakfasts and lunches, I'd sip coffee while catching up on Facebook. Technology ruled our mornings. Any change was going to be rough on all of us.

And then, just like that, I had enough. It was a typical weekend day. Beautiful outside. I decided there would be no TV. Sally balked but then quickly busied herself with her toys.

Luke balked, then fought, then complained, then cried, then fought, then complained, then tried to sabotage Sally's fun, then fought, then complained, then cried... This went on for five hours. See, not only did I say no TV, (or any iDevice,) but I also insisted that he entertain himself. No, Daddy would not play soccer and no, I would not play games. Mom and Dad were busy.

Five hours. It took five hours for my 7.5 year old to figure out how to play without the help of technology or the undivided attention of an adult. Five hours where he tried to spread as much misery as possible. Somehow, my husband and I stuck it out, not knowing if it would ever end. We paid him as little attention as possible, knowing that, for him, negative attention is just as good as any.

After those five terrible hours something amazing happened. Luke noticed his long ignored Legos. Both kids played with Legos for hours -- in between snacks, fights and meals. The day closed with both kids happy.

That night I told the kids there would be no TV in the morning. We hid the remotes, the computer mouse and the iPad just in case a sneaky early riser "forgot." The kids were surprisingly accepting of the morning's dearth of technology. They never even asked. They played. I certainly couldn't go sit at my computer, so I busied myself with chores I normally leave until after they're off to school.

Is this what it's like to be one of those nice families?

OK, so that's one day. Surely this will get hard. That night we again told them there would be no TV in the morning. We again hid all the things. They again didn't ask. This time, we played several rounds of Uno together. The kids were DELIGHTED. So much so that I felt like the world's worst mom.

Look how happy my kids are just to get a smidge of attention from me in the morning. Holy sh*t have I sucked for all these years!

It's now been nearly two full weeks of no TV in the mornings. This means no computer time for me too, and I have to muster up a lot of friendliness before I've finished even my first cup of coffee. I can't tell you how much of a difference it's made. Just starting our day with a little more effort helps us all have better days. Leaving the house for school requires so much less reminding, rushing and nagging on my part and involves so much less complaining on theirs. They haven't been asking for much afternoon TV either.

Will things change when the weather gets colder? Possibly. I hope we land somewhere moderate. Things had really gotten out of control for a while there.

Could I have done this as successfully years ago? Maybe, maybe not. I don't see much point in looking back though. There were a few years when survival was the name of the game. I'm happy to report that we did indeed survive them.

Many of you are probably thinking, Of course things are better! And yes, you were a shitty parent all those years! Fine. Judge away if it makes you feel good about yourself.

But for anyone reading who is thinking, I could never do it. I need that morning TV time for my sanity! I have something to say: That's OK. I needed it too. And then, one day, I didn't."

[End of article]

See why I wanted to share it?

Jesse-Lee turns 5

Today I woke up to kisses and cuddles from my little 5year-old and I breathed in the happiness oozing from her. I recalled our life before her and praised God for granting me this most precious person as a gift and a grace-grower. I watched the smiles, laughter and fun of our friends who came to celebrate with us. So grateful for such a blessed life!

Some photos of my loveys from this past weekend

Dem bones.

Jesse: "Guess what, Mommy?  Did you know that skelestons have bones?"
Love it!

Butterfly Catchers

On Friday, as Jesse-Lee and I were driving home, we were surrounded by thousands upon thousands of white butterflies, all fluttering in sort-of the same direction.  Heaven only knows where they came from, or where they were going, but we fully intended going out and catching some of them that afternoon when we arrived home.  A butterfly capturing expedition, as it were.

Donning our comfy shoes and sharing a fishing net, out we pranced in unison, certain that a variety of beautiful butterflies would soon be safely ensconced in our nifty plastic container.  

"Butterfliiiiiies, come little butterflies! I will be your friend!"

It took less than four seconds for us to discover that the pesky buggers are damn-near-impossible to catch! 

There I was, prancing around like a mad fowl, jumping in the air and spraining muscles in an attempt to catch just one butterfly mid-air. Meanwhile Jesse-Lee "neak neak" (which is Jesse-Leeze for sneak sneak) catches not one but TWO butterflies (coitus interuptus) with her bare hands. 

"Mommy, Mommy, they were sitting there holding hands and I just neak neak catched them!"

"I will name this one 'Orangey,' and I will name her friend 'Orangey Friend'."

In my comfort zone

My very brave friend Chantal (an Ozzie living in South Africa!) is braving uncharted territories and has decided to tour Rwana.  On her bicycle.  Yes, you read right.  What some call foolishness, others call fun.  I will be propping up the cushions on my couch and following her journey from the comfort of my home.  Thank you very much.

Chantal - you're going to so rock it.

ENJOY!  And send pics.

The end of the world

Have I mentioned how much I *heart* reading Ken Follett's books? I read "The Pillars of the Earth" in 1998, wayyyy before he achieved world-wide fame. I like to think that my forcing my friends to read it because they couldn't go through life without reading one of the best pieces of literary brilliance of our time, contributed to his success. (Clearly, I'm totally humble.)

Then came "World Without End" which was just as awesome, even if I was disappointed that the follow-up of the previous novel skipped an entire generation...

Yesterday I bought "Winter of the World". Yayness! Can't wait to get my pyjamas on, the hubsband & offspring packed off to bed, a cuppa made & my behind parked on a couch with the book. *sigh* HEAVEN!

Incidentally, all of this "world without end" / "winter of the world" business reminds me that today was supposed to be the last day on the Mayan calendar. I guess today the Mayans learned the important lesson that if you find out you're wrong, it's not the end of the world. Haha!

Now, please excuse me while I get my nose stuck into my book.

Toodle do.

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Praying for the Connecticut families, ripped apart by one crazed gunman

I am watching the coverage of the shooting at the Newtown elementary school, where Ryan Lanza gunned down close to 30 people, the majority of which were children.

I am simply horrified that a tragedy like this could be perpetrated against tiny little children!

I cannot even begin to imagine how afraid they were; nor how devastated those poor families are going to be!

So heart rending.

I will be praying for all the families who have been torn apart by this terrible tragedy. And, in the words of Obama, "tonight will be hugging my [Jesse] a little tighter to myself."

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Goodbye work. Hello holiday.

Today is my very last day of work for 2012.  I am having some serious trouble, trying to keep from breaking out in bootie shakes.

On Sunday we hit the road to all the fandamily in the Eastern Cape, for a rocking Christmas with my most favourite people in the whole world.  Sunday cannot come soon enough.  We are all ready for the trip - dvd player, snacks, catsitter, etc.

Here's wishing you all a fabulous festive season.  Remembering our Saviour and the reason He came.

Such a flower child!

Wherein I declare myself lazy.

I will not be working today.
Tomorrow is my last official working day for the year, but I. am. tired. of. working.
Nuff said.

Alternative plan for the day: lots of lurking around people's blogs.  Pinterest.  Facebook.  Youtube.
That's all.
Finish and klaar.

Carry on.

I like them big. I like them chunky.

Alternate title:  A Pain in The A**

A week ago, we had a potjie with some church friends.  [A potjie (pronounced "poykee") is a casserole cooked in an enormous three-legged pot over a fire.  But we call the entire event, from building the fire, to eating and socializing together, a potjie]  Great fun!  Food + friends = fun.  

On our return home, it started raining, so when I walked down the stairs from the garage towards our back door, my boats crocs rapidly morphed from foot protective gear to weapons of mass destruction and sent me and my liberally indulged appetite crashing down the flight of steps, while still holding two big pyrex dishes in my hands.

It wasn't pretty, y'all.  And neither is the junk in my trunk.

Lest you think this image has been tampered with, nay, that is an actual photo taken with my Blackberry. And yes, those are The Bruises.

Never one to miss an opportunity for sympathy, as soon as the bruise was visible, I sent pictures of it to my friends. Who, in the spirit of our dear friendship, immediately seized the opportunity to comment on the enormity, not of The Bruise, but of the roundness of my rump.  "Dang, girl - look at the SIZE of that thing! (The butt, not the bruise.)"  One even quoted one of my most favourite scenes from Madagascar II to me, where Motomoto approaches Gloria and introduces himself.  "Who's your friend? Or is that your butt?" (bad youtube version of the scene here.)

Luckily I have a thick skin.
It's purple.
But who am I to complain?

In the meantime, I am garnering sympathy wherever I can.
With my blue butt and the picture thereof in tow.

Thank you for the music!

My bonnie child

There is a Barney Show coming to town.  I had seen the posters up and had attempted to take preemptive evasive action.  Think driving 4km's further en-route to our destination to avoid the street littered with the purple monster.  But the posters.  are.  everywhere.  And my daughter has eyes like a hawk.  She can always be relied on to eye-spy something that I had hidden away.

And so she noticed the one lone poster on the streetpole that I was unable to avoid.  

Our conversation went like this:

Jesse:  "Please Mommy, sing the Barney song for me?" Me:  "How does it go, Jesse?" Jesse sings, "My Barney lies over the ocean... My Barney lies over the sea... Oh bring back my Barney to me!" 

Wahahahaha! She's hilarious!

Of stories and namings

We have a routine that we stick to in the evenings with Jesse-Lee:

Supper.  Bath.  Bed.  Bedtime Story.  Lights Out.  Two songs.  Kiss.  Hug.  Happy.

That way, she gets her 10 hours of sleep, and we get our 10 hours of peace.  In which I do my happy dance pull on my stretchy pants and raid the pantry cupboard, eating all manner of treats that we don't usually allow Jesse to eat.  

It's a win-win situation really.

Long before bedtime she already starts asking which story I'll be reading to her that evening. I love to surprise Jesse with new and amazing stories that will set her imagination alight and pull her into dreamland thinking happy thoughts.

The night before last was no different to our norm.  The bedtime story was new to Jesse (the one where Jesus raises Jairus's daughter from the dead).  When we got to the end of the story, there was a picture of Jairus and his wife hugging their daughter, while Jesus looks on.  Jesse immediately piped up and asked, "Mommy, what is the little girl's mommy's name?"  I answered that I didn't know.  Upon which she stated categorically:  "Well, I think it should be Strawberry Deck."

I shudder to think what my grandchildren will be named one day.

Thankfully that's at least 52 years in the future.

I'm nothing if not optimistic, y'all.

If I won the Lottery

On invitation by my buddy Jo, I'm joining in the wishful thinking.  A day late, but never one to be daunted by frivolous things, like, oh, punctuality, I'm hopping on the band wagon.  It's the first time I'm linking up for one of these things, so hang on to your seats.  [An old dog CAN learn new tricks!]

If I won the lottery... *sigh!* ... I'd:-

1.  Kill the debt monster.  It's been a looong time coming.

2.  Buy myself any of Sarah Richardson's houses.  I have SUCH a design crush on Sarah Richardson and her sidekick Tommy.  But this design is my favourite:

(Sarah's Farm)

(Sarah's Cottage)

3.  

Next, I'd buy my parents this little house on the beach in Cape St Francis.

4.

And new cars for the whole family!  No more oil leaks, mechanics, being taken for a ride, etc.  [I'm pretty sure just thinking of this conjures up choirs of angels singing Hallelujah!]

5.  

Go on holiday here:

Don't have a CLUE where that is, but who says I can't go around the world in search of this place?

6.  
Set up a trust fund for Jesse and her future.

7.  
Set up a trust fund for helping friends or family with finance woes.  Anonymously.

8.  
Buy myself a Steinway.

9.  
Quit my job so I can LIVE the way I choose to, rather than being limited by finances.  Finally write the book I've been dreaming of writing my whole life.  Spend my days writing.  Reading.  Photographing.  Painting.  Getting manicures.  Playing with my little girl.  Watch her grow up.

10.  Never tell a soul I'd won.  

Some days I just look at her and marvel.

The one where we forbid boyfriends

Its been about a year and a half now that Jesse has been going to Nursery School, while the parentals are hard at work.  Needless to say, this has instigated many an interesting conversation, as Jesse watches the other children at school, then brings her endless quest for knowledge home.

.

Something else that she brought home with her was a sudden interest in little boys.  Which was never more pointedly obvious than one day not too long ago, when I arrived at her school to collect her.  

.

A little boy with pouty lips & a missing tooth came running up to Jesse-Lee and myself, then promptly informed me that Jesse-Lee is his girlfriend. I stuttered out an "oh really???" just before he put his arms around her, puckered up & planted a big pouty kiss on her lips! 

.

Then, with his arms still rather comfortably draped about her shoulders, he stood there beaming at her with his toothless grin & big soppy eyes.

.

At this point I might or might not have been gasping desperately for oxygen and clutching at my chest while seeing stars and imagining the ground opening up and sucking him in.

.

After I had extricated his tentacles from around my girlchild's shoulders, I made for the exit sign with the dust beating at our heels.

.

Once in the car, I said to Jesse: "Girly, WHO is that boy???"

.

Her reply:  "That is Thomas.  He's my boyfriend!"

.

Lots of near-fainting on my part.

.

Later, when the dear hubsband arrived home, I tell Robin the "boyfriend" at school story. 

.

Lots of laughing ensues. 

.

Later, he casually says to Jesse, "Jesse, you mustn't kiss the boys at school." 

.

Jesse: "No, Daddy, I really like it!" (At this point, lots of dizziness and hot flushes)

.

Robin: "You are not allowed to kiss boys until you're 35 yrs old!"

.

Jesse:  "No, Daddy, I can kiss boys."

.

Robin: "Don't, girlie. Boys have germs!"

.

Jesse: "Ew! I'm never ever kissing boys ever again!"

.

Scare tactics. They work. Hehe!

She speaks Jesse-Leeze

Me:  "Jesse, what do you want to become when you grow up one day?"
Jesse:  "A princess."
(I didn't have the nerve to tell her that Kate had already stolen that spot.  And Harry isn't tying the knot any time soon)
Me:  "And after you become a princess?"  
Jesse:  "A sunflower."
Alrighty then.