Maybe Baby update again

Robin and I went to visit Maybe Baby (number 1 - yes, there is more than one now!) at the baby shelter in Johannesburg on Thursday. She is a beautiful four-week-old little girl, named Angel (surname withheld for privacy). It was heartwrenching to see this little girl, wrapped in blankets and lying in a crib, knowing that her birthmom doesn't really care what happens with her. The ladies who work at the shelter told us that it's very likely that Angel has HIV. She is also a crack-baby and is in the throes of detox right now. It is heartbreaking. Robin and I have taken a decision that we will not adopt if the baby has HIV. What a horrible decision to take. But, honestly, we don't have the financial ability to care for a baby with such special needs. Anti-retroviral treatments cost an arm and a leg. And we would just shrivel up and die if she were to die shortly after we grow to love her. But we made some good contacts while we were there and left feeling like even if this baby doesn't become ours, things will still work out fine for us.

.

It's so weird to sit here writing about something that moved us so much, only to have it sound so shallow and arbitrary when I read over it!

.

And then, also last week, I heard about a local teenaged girl who is pregnant and whose family are dirt poor and cannot afford to keep the baby. And then to add fuel to the fire of their decision, the little girl went for a scan and found out that she is pregnant with twins. So, there is another possibility. Remote possibility, but a possibility nonetheless. So, that's Maybe Babies numbers 2 and 3.

.

Maybe Baby number 4 we found out about from a friend of ours in Durban who counsels teenagers in crisis. She let us know about a girl in Durban, who is looking for a family for her child. Together, Lesley and her social worker have already turned down a few families because they aren't Christians, and she specifically wants her baby to be adopted by a Christian family. Hello! Pick meeeeee! The baby is due to be born in a few weeks time, so time is VERY short. As you all know, the adoptive process is a very long and complicated story, with all sorts of red tape, etc. So, our chances for this little baby are very slim. But somehow in our hearts, this is the baby we feel most drawn towards. Maybe it's because we know the lady counselling the mom.

.

The stumbling block in the works for us, though, was that we couldn't get hold of a social worker who was willing to even write down our names. So, we spent the better part of this past weekend sharing our burden with our friends and praying about it together. Yesterday we started praying specifically that God would reveal His will to us and help us to know what to do next. Because all of our efforts to find a social worker to help us, resulted in zip.

.

This morning I got an impression to phone Debbie (the private social worker in Durban, whom I'd been unable to contact up until today) right away, so I did. And she answered!!! Halelujah! She has agreed to take on our case and we will be meeting with her next Tuesday morning in Durban! I can't even begin to tell you what a miracle this is for me. What might seem insignificant to you, and easy-peasy in the big scheme of things, had been an enormous challenge for us. We were beginning to believe that it may not be in God's plan for us to EVER have children - even adopted ones. But God has OPENED this door for us! I can't even begin telling you what a huge relief it is to have tried Debbie's number this morning and to have actually gotten a reply on my very first attempt today, after WEEKS and WEEKS of trying to find a social worker and getting no reply from anyone!
.
Surely God is leading in this? Surely God always has His finger in our pies - and surely He will show us the right way to proceed! Even if the answer is no. I am trying my best to be attentive to His voice, and asking Him to make His will mine. And not the other way round. For too long I have been afraid to say "Your Will be done, Lord" for fear that it might be contrary to mine. How selfish is that? But, finally, we are seeing a light at the end of this dark tunnel, albeit a very small, flickery one.
.
We would like to ask you to join us in praying for God The Father's guidance in this, our most precious heart's desire - our pursuit of parentdom. And our longing to love a child and to have one (preferably more) to call our own.
.
There are a few specific things we are asking for:-
.
1. The RIGHT social worker (hopefully that's Debbie!)

2. The RIGHT baby (or babies)
3. The RIGHT timing - His timing in answering our prayers
4. For God to reveal His will to us, and to help us accept it, no matter what that might be
5. For a PRIVATE adoption. Preferably for a family to choose us as the parents of their child.
6. For all of this to happen as speedily as possible, even though we've asked for number 3 also.
.
That last request probably seems silly - but we feel as if we've been floundering, and would really like to ask God to take into consideration our impatience! haha. Even if we didn't ask Him to hurry up, He would know we were thinking it anyway. And we can hide nothing from Him. So, we're asking for HIS timing - and to help us be ok with it. Basically that's what it comes down to.

.
I also want to share with you a verse that was greatly comforting to me when I discovered it. It is found in the prayer that Hannah prayed as thanks when she fell pregnant with Samuel in 1st Samuel, chapter 2 and specifically verse 6:-

"The LORD brings death and makes alive;

He brings down to the grave and raises up."

(It sounded a whole lot better in my paraphrase Bible this morning, but I never brought my nifty paraphrased version with me to work this morning... but anyway,) in other words, God is the giver of life. He holds life in His hands. He decides. And He will give life (or a child) when He sees fit. I am learning to trust Him again. I am learning to wait. And I'm trying to do so patiently, without questioning His "delay" in my eyes. His timing is PERFECT. Even though I've been asking Him to hurry up.
.
So, will you please lift us up to the Saviour in prayer this week?
.
Our friends will be praying with us every day from 06h30 - 07h00 in the morning. Robin and I and a handfull of close friends will be fasting on Wednesday too. If you would like to join us in fasting, we would really appreciate it. We are often reminded in the Bible of God intervening when His people fast and pray.

• "So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and He answered our prayer." Ezra 8 v 23
• "...with prayer and fasting, committed them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust." Acts 14 v 23

Will you do the same for us? Commit us to the Lord, and put your trust in Him?