I like them big. I like them chunky.

Alternate title:  A Pain in The A**

A week ago, we had a potjie with some church friends.  [A potjie (pronounced "poykee") is a casserole cooked in an enormous three-legged pot over a fire.  But we call the entire event, from building the fire, to eating and socializing together, a potjie]  Great fun!  Food + friends = fun.  

On our return home, it started raining, so when I walked down the stairs from the garage towards our back door, my boats crocs rapidly morphed from foot protective gear to weapons of mass destruction and sent me and my liberally indulged appetite crashing down the flight of steps, while still holding two big pyrex dishes in my hands.

It wasn't pretty, y'all.  And neither is the junk in my trunk.

Lest you think this image has been tampered with, nay, that is an actual photo taken with my Blackberry. And yes, those are The Bruises.

Never one to miss an opportunity for sympathy, as soon as the bruise was visible, I sent pictures of it to my friends. Who, in the spirit of our dear friendship, immediately seized the opportunity to comment on the enormity, not of The Bruise, but of the roundness of my rump.  "Dang, girl - look at the SIZE of that thing! (The butt, not the bruise.)"  One even quoted one of my most favourite scenes from Madagascar II to me, where Motomoto approaches Gloria and introduces himself.  "Who's your friend? Or is that your butt?" (bad youtube version of the scene here.)

Luckily I have a thick skin.
It's purple.
But who am I to complain?

In the meantime, I am garnering sympathy wherever I can.
With my blue butt and the picture thereof in tow.

One for the road... Or, um, clouds?

I'm sitting at the airport now, waiting to board. I am SO sad my little holiday with my friend is over! This getaway was balm for my heart.
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I said goodbye to the sea as we drove past the beach one last time en route to the airport. I literally rolled down my window and let the air blast through my hair as I shouted my goodbyes to Hout Bay... Llandudno... Table Mountain... The V&A Waterfront... And now my fave store, Woolies.
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So sad I am to be leaving The Mother City of Africa.
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Joey and I have a plan. We're going to try to twist our hubsband's arms to allow us to make this an annual gig. Just the two gals galavanting around our fave place on the planet. Whether or not they go for it is another story entirely.
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I might need to whip out the ol' lingerie and ask him while he's distracted. If you know what I mean.
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Wink wink.
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On the other hand, just LOOK how naughty I get when I'm away from my man!!! Terrible! Joey, you're a bad influence, my friend! ;o) But I love you to bits and pieces and I simply can't wait for our next trip together!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Heaven on Earth

I flew into Cape Town this morning for a few days with one of my bestest buddies ever, Joey. From where I'm seated right now, this is my view... (See pics below... I'm publishing this post from my blackberry and I haven't figured out yet how to move the pics around in my blog post. Hehe!)
While I'm here I'll just be posting pics, not actual words. Seeing as I'm on holiday and all. Enjoy the pics and I'll chat to you again once I'm back home at the Hillbilly Dump on the weekend. Oh, and remind me to tell you how it's going with the dear hubsband and our Nocturnal Bottledrinking Monster ok?
Toodle dooo!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

You're gonna love her too!

I just made a new BFF and I just know you're so going to love her also. I met her through shabby blogs, my other new fave place on the net. Meet Jessica. I won't be jealous if you like her too. Promise.

Cape Town, oh, Cape Town, how I love thee!

One of my best friends, Joey, has treated me to the gift of a lifetime! She has bought me a flight to Cape Town for a few days. Alone! Just meeeeee! And her, waiting for me that side.
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It's difficult to tell you just how excited I am to be going back to my favourite city on the continent, for a few days. Just thinking about the trip conjures up wonderful thoughts of sleeping right through the night, eating a whole entire meal without interruption, reading lazily on the patio overlooking the Atlantic, leisurely strolls through malls without apologizing to shop owners... quiet time with my friend, long chats and short naps...
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And four whole days of missing my baby!!! I am absolutely DREADING the missing her. It will be my first trip somewhere without her. I wonder if I will actually be able to enjoy my time there?... I can go, knowing she'll be in the care of the best man on the planet.  What did I do to deserve being married to Robin?
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I fly out early next week, and return Friday. And you'll be the first to know how it went, when I get back.

Too many goodbyes...

We had a surprise visit from two of our best friends, Jair and Hanlie, and their gorgeous offspring, Isabella and Joshua, yesterday! They have just packed up their home in Maputo (Mozambique), and are in the process of moving to Bangkok (Thailand) where Jair will be working as a missionary for ADRA (Adventist Disaster Relief Agency).
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They slept the night and just left on their way to Durban a few minutes ago.
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What a bittersweet visit! SO lovely to spend time together again, to laugh and reminisce and wish we (our friendship circle) all lived nearer to each other, instead of scattered across the globe… Aurette and Andrew with their little Ethan now in New Zealand; Dewald and Chantell with little Eli and baby-to-be in North Carolina, Robin and I with Jesse stuck in Africa, here in the Hillbilly South African Bush… and now Jair and Hanlie moving to Bangkok. As if Maputo wasn’t far away enough.
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Baskets.
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This planet of ours is simply too big for my liking.
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Would that Jesus would come already, so that we could all go HOME to Heaven, where there will be no more separation…

Hobnobbing with the larnies

We are in Johannesburg for two weeks, visiting some good friends of ours who we very seldom see these days.

It is surreal being here. The last time we were here, things were very different for us. We still had more than enough money in our wallets, in those days. We also never had Jesse-Lee yet...

Which may or may not be related.

I'm just saying.

And, man - you never know just how un-baby-safe other people's homes are until you get to stay in their homes and your toddler thinks it's an adventure park. I am going to be EXHAUSTED after these two weeks!!! I am like her shadow, walking around behind her saying "No, Jesse, don't touch!" every three seconds. Poor child! She's going to think "Nojess" is her full name, after this!

But, wow, it is SO GOOD to spend time with one of my very best friends again, after all this time. I have missed her SO much. Tomorrow all our galpals are getting together and taking all our kids to Monte Casino's bird park. Should be fun!

We'll chat some more later. I think my girl is waking from her nap! Here we go again. I'm on duty to protect my friend's treasures from a little monster's fingers!

On a more serious note...

Today held the loss of two friends. Two young men, both recently out of school who have spent the past three and two years respectively working for God as missionaries in Abundant Life Missionary Touring Team. A tragedy to be sure.

Words always fail me at times like these. But we live on in their absence, knowing that when that awesome trumpet sounds, at the resurrection day, God will call for them, and we will all be reunited together again. For now, they rest. Oblivious of the fact that many mourn their loss. Oblivious of those who already miss them. Anton and Andre, we are going to miss you guys. But we look so forward to that glad day when Jesus comes and raises you from the dead! Not long anymore. Not long.

My tjommies are here!

Two of our bestest buddies are here in Dundee visiting from North Carolina!!! Dewald and Chantell and their little boy, Eli, are here and we saw them for the first time today, in two years! OK, so that sentence structure totally sucks, but I'm just too excited to care! hehe. Here are some pics of us from a while ago when they still lived in South Africa...

Above: This one is of me, Chantell and Hanlie (one of our other tjommies) at a Westlife concert in Durban two years ago or so. We had SO MUCH fun that night!

Oh, and this is one of Robin in his hairier days. hehe!

I am sooooo excited that they're here for one whole month! Woot woot! I'll be posting more pics soon.

Believe it or not - MORE showers of blessing!

Hold onto your seat folks. Robin and I drove down to Durban today (hence the no blogging for a few days - hectic preparations for meetings, painting the baby room, working inbetween paint sessions, more baby room preparations, and did I mention painting?...) and guess what happened tonight? ANOTHER Baby Shower! It's like a wonderful dream that I just don't want to wake up from!

And being a bit of a freebie whore, I was in "present heaven" tonight, unwrapping gift after gift after precious gift for our baby(ies).

What's that I just said? BabIES? Woot woot! Yes, babies. It looks like we might be getting the little boy after all. And probably a whole lot sooner than we thought too. The mom (oh, my heart just breaks for her!) has requested a week to just gather all her ducks and get them into a row, and then we shall start proceedings for the adoption. OH MY WORD! I'm going to be a Mom to TWO CHILLENS! Robin and I are totally over the moon. He tells me I'm the cow that jumped over the moon. You know - Hey Diddle Diddle, the cat and the fiddle?... Yup, that one. What. Eh. Va. I'm so going to be a Mommy soon! Yay!

Bring it on.

So, I thought I'd share a few pics of tonight with you guys. I didn't even bother doing a tally of all the gorgeous gifts we got tonight. We got TONS of gorgeous thingies for the baby(ies). Loooooots of pink. We're going to have to use all the vouchers and dosh we got to stock up on little boy clothes (especially from 3-6 months and older, because he's 2 months old right now). Our vet (we're quite good friends with him after all our pet palavas) and one of his office ladies named Dee, got us a whole bakkieload of boy things! And I mean a WHOLE bakkieload. They even bought us 120 nappies. And they're getting us a baby-bath, and another pram and and and...! I mean??? What planet is this that we're living on that people are SO generous? I keep telling you guys how totally bowled away we are by the generosity of people, but until you could see all the things we've been given, there's no way you could fathom how humble it's made me feel. Wow. God really does have a thousand ways of providing for us of which we know nothing.

Now for some pics. First, some pics of the Baby Shower in Dundee this week ... and then some pics of the Baby Shower tonight here in Durbs. I'll put one or two pics here too, but click on the links if you want to see more.

Tomorrow morning early, we have doctors appointments with Lindsay (and Victor will come along too) for a standard pre-natal checkup. Afterwards we're taking them out for tea somewhere nice, then heading back home to the semi-newly-painted Hillbilly Dump. (And then I'll post some pics of the nursery! yay!)

Seriously, could life get any better than this?

Showers of Blessing!

And all along I’ve really secretly thought I was quite a sharp bird. But clearly, I'm not as sharp as I thought. Which totally burst my I-Think-I'm-Pretty-Darn-Nifty bubble. But not without reward, I'll tell you that much!

Guess what happened last night? I've got to hand it to my friends, they're really quite a lot sneakier than I ever thought possible. They planned a whole big Baby Shower bash for me!!! And here's the most amazing part: they did it all without me ever getting a whiff of what was up! Now that’s what I call sneeeeeaaaaaky! (But you have to say it with the Jim Carrey "mask" accent, and then it's a total compliment in my vocab.) Yeah, sneeeeeaaaaky buggers! Pulled the wool right over my eyes.

On Monday evening, Cornia (the friend at who’s house the bash was held) invited me over to do some beadwork with her last night “for Mother’s Day gifts for the ladies at church.” Never one to turn down an opportunity to steal some other people’s crafty goodies do some fun arty fartsy things with my friends, I jumped at the opportunity. When I walked into her house I almost died of fright! Her entire lounge was full to the brim with church friends (ladies) and everyone starting blowing those funny squeaky things that make the sound of a duck in labour, and my heart just went and stopped on the spot! I was so totally caught off-guard! I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole night. I was so NOT expecting a party, leave alone a Baby Shower. I never thought I’d ever get to experience the joy of opening gifts for my baby!

Robin’s in for some competition by the way. Right now, she’s mine mine mine.

Almost nobody had heard about the little boy that we might be adopting, yet, (not many of us hillbillies have access to internet, so I have more friends in the computer who read my blog, than real live friends in real life who read my blog. Thus, they never knew of the developments with our Maybe Baby little Boy! We got so many beautiful gifts. Gorgeous, cuddly, fluffy, fun, practical, beautiful PINK gifts! Haha.

I don’t mind though. I wonder if he will mind if we dress him in pink? Just kidding. Then, again, pink is the new black, right? Then again, who’s going to go and dress their little baby in black? Oh well, there goes that theory then.

I’ll be showing you all some photos as soon as all my friends have emailed me the pics from their cameras.

---

In the meantime, here’s the list of all the things we were given! (last night and before, from friends and family):-

Clothing:

13 vests
5 church outfits, complete with stockings!
5 pairs of trousers
6 cute t-shirts
3 pairs of tights or stockings
8 pairs of leggings
2 jackets
6 pairs of slippers
2 pairs of little fur-lined boots
1 pair of crocs
8 pairs of socks
10 hats or beanies
2 denim dungaree sets with matching unders
26 baby grows! Ta-wenty six, people!
9 tracksuits
9 bibs
1 set of woollen gloves
2 skirts
3 dresses with matching unders
2 sets of pj's

Other items:
2 car seats, 1 pram, 1 cot(t), 1 campcot(t), 1 wooden rocking chair, 2 rattles, 2 pram toys, 3 tune toys, 1 jingly ball, 1 bouncy silicone ball with 'spikes', 10 baby hangers (for clothes, not babies!), 1 car "baby on board" sign, 1 big feeding chair, 1 portable feeding chair, 1 kangaroo pouch, 1 hiking backpack to put babe in when we walk long distances

Bathing & Baby-Bum-Changing goodies:

1 medical aid kit, 4 jars aqueous creams, 3 jars bum cream, 4 bottles baby powder, 3 bath gels, 3 baby shampoos, 2 Elizabeth Anne's Conditioning Baby Shampoos (which I could just eat, it smells so good!), 4 sets of floating plastic ducks, crocodiles, etc., 5 packs scented nappy refuse bags, 1 bottle Gripe Water, 2 bars of baby soap, 2 jars earbuds (I think you guys might call that Q-tips?), 2 sets of nail-clippers, 2 bottles baby lotion, 1 baby wash, 1 baby cologne, 1 baby oil gel, 1 speciality baby massage oil, 1 training set of toothbrushes from newborn through teething and onto teeth, 1 big pack of cotton wool, 4 packs of nappies size one, 2 packs of nappies size two, 1 nostril vacuum sucker thingy (ick! Robin will have to do that job!), 1 bath thermometre, 1 changing mat, 1 changing mat cover, 1 towel with hood, 1 fluffy towel, 1 nappy dispenser

Feeding equipment:

8 spoons, 7 feeding bows with lids, 2 sets of medicine feeding bottles, 2 large bottles, 2 small bottles, 1 formula storage cup with lid, 1 large bottle brush, 1 bottle drying rack, 1 bottle sterilizing bucket

Bedding, etc.

1 quilt, 1 quilted fleecy foldaway baby sleeping bag with built-in-pillow (handmade by a very special lady! Baie dankie Tannie Manda!), 19 blankets, 2 exquisite handmade crocheted / knitted blankets, 1 fleecy "elephant" cover with miniature hot-water-water-bottle, 1 mosquito net, 1 pillow, 1 cot(t) bumper, 2 picnic quilts

---

How spoilt are we? I am SO grateful for the generosity of our family and friends! There is no way on this little planet, that Robin and I ever have ever bought all of this ourselves. God knows a thousand ways of providing for us, of which we know nothing! I should have learnt to trust Him sooner! I am just SO amazed. I can't wait to post pics of the awesome party that my friends threw for me. It was SO much fun. I am so overwhelmed. (And you should believe me, otherwise I'm going to need to keep saying "SOOOO" over and over again! haha! As if I haven't said it enough in this paragraph. My vocab stinks when I'm happy. Hehe!)

But this post wouldn't be complete without me thanking two very special people, who made my surprise Baby Shower Bash so absolutely awesome! Lani and Cornia, I love you guys so much. (See, there I go with the "so's" again!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for spoiling me with the most beautiful Baby Shower Bash I've ever been to! I noticed all the details: from the exquisite chiffon ribbons; to the 'baby' glitter on the tables; to the handprints with all handwritten notes of love on them from everyone who attended; the baby photographs of everyone who came; the little Cinderella coach beside the cupcakes; even the handmade invitations you sent out, and thinking to set one aside for me too!; the time it took for everyone to get all dressed up as little girls at a party; the plates and plates of eats; the handmade decorations with teddies, and little nappies, dummies and ribbons. I noticed all of it, and especially the love that prompted you to do it all. Just for me. What did I ever do to deserve such amazing friends? Surely God has blessed me beyond measure. Thank you so much (you sneaky buggers)!

Showers of Blessing!

And all along I’ve really secretly thought I was quite a sharp bird. But clearly, I'm not as sharp as I thought. Which totally burst my I-Think-I'm-Pretty-Darn-Nifty bubble. But not without reward, I'll tell you that much!

Guess what happened last night? I've got to hand it to my friends, they're really quite a lot sneakier than I ever thought possible. They planned a whole big Baby Shower bash for me!!! And here's the most amazing part: they did it all without me ever getting a whiff of what was up! Now that’s what I call sneeeeeaaaaaky! (But you have to say it with the Jim Carrey "mask" accent, and then it's a total compliment in my vocab.) Yeah, sneeeeeaaaaky buggers! Pulled the wool right over my eyes.

On Monday evening, Cornia (the friend at who’s house the bash was held) invited me over to do some beadwork with her last night “for Mother’s Day gifts for the ladies at church.” Never one to turn down an opportunity to steal some other people’s crafty goodies do some fun arty fartsy things with my friends, I jumped at the opportunity. When I walked into her house I almost died of fright! Her entire lounge was full to the brim with church friends (ladies) and everyone starting blowing those funny squeaky things that make the sound of a duck in labour, and my heart just went and stopped on the spot! I was so totally caught off-guard! I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole night. I was so NOT expecting a party, leave alone a Baby Shower. I never thought I’d ever get to experience the joy of opening gifts for my baby!

Robin’s in for some competition by the way. Right now, she’s mine mine mine.

Almost nobody had heard about the little boy that we might be adopting, yet, (not many of us hillbillies have access to internet, so I have more friends in the computer who read my blog, than real live friends in real life who read my blog. Thus, they never knew of the developments with our Maybe Baby little Boy! We got so many beautiful gifts. Gorgeous, cuddly, fluffy, fun, practical, beautiful PINK gifts! Haha.

I don’t mind though. I wonder if he will mind if we dress him in pink? Just kidding. Then, again, pink is the new black, right? Then again, who’s going to go and dress their little baby in black. Oh well, there goes that theory then.

I’ll be showing you all some photos as soon as all my friends have emailed me the pics from their cameras.

---

In the meantime, here’s the list of all the things we were given! (last night and before, from friends and family):-

Clothing:

13 vests
5 church outfits, complete with stockings!
5 pairs of trousers
6 cute t-shirts
3 pairs of tights or stockings
8 pairs of leggings
2 jackets
6 pairs of slippers
2 pairs of little fur-lined boots
1 pair of crocs
8 pairs of socks
10 hats or beanies
2 denim dungaree sets with matching unders
26 baby grows
9 tracksuits
9 bibs
1 set of woollen gloves
2 skirts
3 dresses with matching unders
2 sets of pj's

Other items:
2 car seats, 1 pram, 1 cot(t), 1 campcot(t), 1 wooden rocking chair, 2 rattles, 2 pram toys, 3 tune toys, 1 jingly ball, 1 bouncy silicone ball with 'spikes', 10 baby hangers (for clothes, not babies!), 1 car "baby on board" sign,

Bathing & Baby-Bum-Changing goodies:

1 medical aid kit, 4 jars aqueous creams, 3 jars bum cream, 4 bottles baby powder, 3 bath gels, 3 baby shampoos, 2 Elizabeth Anne's Conditioning Baby Shampoos (which I could just eat, it smells so good!), 4 sets of floating plastic ducks, crocodiles, etc., 5 packs scented nappy refuse bags, 1 bottle Gripe Water, 2 bars of baby soap, 2 jars earbuds (I think you guys might call that Q-tips?), 2 sets of nail-clippers, 2 bottles baby lotion, 1 baby wash, 1 baby cologne, 1 baby oil gel, 1 speciality baby massage oil, 1 training set of toothbrushes from newborn through teething and onto teeth, 1 big pack of cotton wool, 4 packs of nappies size one, 2 packs of nappies size two, 1 nostril vacuum sucker thingy (ick! Robin will have to do that job!), 1 bath thermometre, 1 changing mat, 1 changing mat cover

, 1 towel with hood, 1 fluffy towel, 1 nappy dispenser

Feeding equipment:

8 spoons, 7 feeding bows with lids, 2 sets of medicine feeding bottles, 2 large bottles, 2 small bottles, 1 formula storage cup with lid, 1 large bottle brush, 1 bottle drying rack, 1 bottle sterilizing bucket

Bedding, etc.

1 quilt, 1 quilted fleecy foldaway baby sleeping bag with built-in-pillow (handmade by a very special lady! Baie dankie Tannie Manda!), 19 blankets, 2 exquisite handmade crocheted / knitted blankets, 1 fleecy "elephant" cover with miniature hot-water-water-bottle, 1 mosquito net, 1 pillow, 1 cot(t) bumper, 2 picnic quilts

---

How spoilt are we? I am SO grateful for the generosity of our family and friends! There is no way on this little planet, that Robin and I ever have ever bought all of this ourselves. God knows a thousand ways of providing for us, of which we know nothing! I should have learnt to trust Him sooner! I am just SO amazed. I can't wait to post pics of the awesome party that my friends threw for me. It was SO much fun. I am so overwhelmed. (And you should believe me, otherwise I'm going to need to keep saying "SOOOO" over and over again! haha! As if I haven't said it enough in this paragraph. My vocab stinks when I'm happy. Hehe!)

But this post wouldn't be complete without me thanking two very special people, who made my surprise Baby Shower Bash so absolutely awesome! Lani and Cornia, I love you guys so much. (See, there I go with the "so's" again!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for spoiling me with the most beautiful Baby Shower Bash I've ever been to! I noticed all the details: from the exquisite chiffon ribbons; to the 'baby' glitter on the tables; to the handprints with all handwritten notes of love on them from everyone who attended; the baby photographs of everyone who came; the little Cinderella coach beside the cupcakes; even the handmade invitations you sent out, and thinking to set one aside for me too!; the time it took for everyone to get all dressed up as little girls at a party; the plates and plates of eats; the handmade decorations with teddies, and little nappies, dummies and ribbons. I noticed all of it, and especially the love that prompted you to do it all. Just for me. What did I ever do to deserve such amazing friends? Surely God has blessed me beyond measure. Thank you so much (you sneaky buggers)!

Eating Humble Pie

So, you all know of my disdain for Faceb**k, right? Call me stupid ignorant, but I never set my notifications properly, so my inbox was always getting chockablock with all manner of obnoxious requests, e.g. Zombie application invitations... (I mean???) Hatch an Egg invitations... (WHY would I want to hatch an egg???) Needless to say, I wanted to deregister forthwith. Until I found a bunch of old school friends on Facebook. And by old, I mean ooooollllldddd... as in, as you found out this week, we actually used to watch McGuyver. And The A-team. And if you remember Chips, then well, let's just say that your walking stick is going to need some polishing. And they weren't reruns either! Those were the days folks. Days when saying "I love it when a plan comes together" didn't ellicit stares of confusion from people around you.

Anyhoo.

Faceb**k. Oh yes. Huge disdain on my part. Total irritation at the number of stupid applications on there. I became quite vocal about Faceb**k Schmacebook et Cetera.

Until this week. I found one of the girls I used to au-pair in Germany ten years ago on Faceb**k (and she is just awesome and all grown up and graceful and I am SO proud to have au-paired her!) and now I am TOTALLY in love with Faceb**k! Yay for Faceb**k!!!

Can I just go ahead and say it?

Ahem.

I was wrong. And Humble Pie aint tasty, I'll tell you that much.

Fast track

Today we are fasting. (I was dead nervous about fasting, what with my insatiable desire to eat all day and all... I am totally addicted to food. I couldn't live without it! hehe. But it's going way better than I thought it would. We're having a fruit fast - in other words we abstain from all food except fruit and nuts. Much easier. Especially if you have P.C.O.S. and your blood sugar is unstable. Ask me about it!)

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I must tell you about something that made the hairs on my teeth stand on end. God is leading is such amazing ways! I shouldn't be surprised though, because He is GOD, after all... and yet, this enormous, incredible, awe-inspiring God, that very same One, He is listening to our prayers and answering! Wow. It really humbles me.

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So anyway. I have this friend. Her name is Stephné and we are like peas and carrots. We look different, but we are both vegetables so similar in many many ways. Both studied art and graphics. Both love men who are outdoorsy. Both are musical. Both are beautiful. Just kidding. She's beautiful, I'm hillbilly-like. But, it's in our personalities that most of the similarities lie. You know how sometimes two people are just totally on the same frequency? Well, that's me and Steph. Uh, Steph and I. You know what I mean. So, Steph has been praying with us about Maybe Baby. Yesterday morning I was impressed with 1st Samuel chapter 2 v 6, after I'd read the first two chapters of 1st Samuel. And so I blogged about it, and emailed my friends who don't read my blog regularly. Steph immediately responded with this email:-

Hi Rob & Char,

Thank you for sharing your prayers, hopes, desires and dreams with us we are pleased that we can be a part of your "Prayer Warriors" group of close friends as we regard you the same way. I find it so interesting that this morning, I committed to making a very serious effort with morning devotions and am happy to report that by the Lord's strength and support alone I was able to get up at 5am and spend time in reading and prayer, the passage I read was 1 Samuel 1 & 2 and I too paused on the verses you have taken courage from; isn't that cool?! We will certainly remember you in our daily prayers and will fast with you on Wednesday too.

Lots of love
Steph

Wow, the hairs on my teeth all stood up in neat little rows when I read that. She was impressed to read the very same passage as I was. OK, to you maybe that would just seem like coincidence. I just believe that God is comforting me and reassuring me that He really is guiding. And that the verse is pertinent to what He wants me to know right now. And that is that He is the Giver of Life. He is Life. And I need to trust Him. And to trust Him with the Life He will provide.

.

This morning Steph sent me this sms (text message):-

Thank You Father that You will bless this woman with endless treasures (Isaiah 2) and never allow her to fall (Psalm 66). Meet all her needs according to Your riches (Philippians 4) and reveal to her Your secret (Colossians 2) and Your endless love for her. Spoil her and make her feel special. Thinking of you both today. Love Steph.

What amazing friends we have! I am so blessed.

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Incidentally, there's one more thing we need you to add to your prayer list. We need to get police clearance for the adoption proceedings. And, since Robin and I hijacked a bus a few months ago and robbed a few banks and have been running from the law ever since, that's going to be a bit challenging. Just kidding. Oh what a kidder I am. OK OK, before you all start sighing and disappear for good, the challenge is this - police clearance in South Africa takes between two and three months to come through. Which means that this Maybe Baby in Durban will already have been born and given to another family by then. Please pray with us for a miracle, and that the police clearance will come through almost immediately. "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." Matthew 19 v 26

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I'm sorry if this blog has become a bit stuck-record-like. I don't know when this blog will resume it's normal frivolous chit-chat. For now, it's all about the Maybe Baby(s).

Gone for the weekend

Just wanted to let you all know that I will be gone until Tuesday next week! We are going camping with all our friends (most of them, at least) to Heidelburg (about 45 minutes from Johannesburg). Yeah baby! We're hoping to go and visit Maybe Baby tomorrow while we're there and to make contact with a Private Social Worker. Yay! So exciting!

.

So anyway, here's wishing you all a Happy Easter. Chat soon with all the news, on Tuesday. Hopefully we'll have some good news to share with you. Or at least a step in the right direction!

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Something to think about over Easter weekend:

1 cross

+ 3 nails

= 4 given

Porcu-pology

I have to apologize. Apparently I was grossly mistaken. Or, more accurately, the "ignorant idiotic farmer" was mistaken. haha! I got an sms (I think some of you call that text message) from one of my best friends (Joey) last night, who is an AVID animal lover. And I MEAN animal lover. As in - she practically has a second home on the Kruger National Park's front doorstep and spends as much time as possible driving around the park looking for animals. And when she can't be there, she's watching dvd's at home about things like... oh, I don't know... ants. And elephants. And anything else that might possibly be alive somewhere in a game farm somewhere. In other words, she knows her stuff.

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So the sms reads as follows:-

Just read your blog. So glad that you are ok after the scare with the porcupine BUT HORRIFIED to hear you say that porcupines are a pest!! There is critical concern over porcupine numbers! That is why caracals and wilddogs are endangered - because of ignorant idiotic farmers.

Now, in order to understand why this sms was totally hilarious to me, you have to know that Joey and I have a LONGstanding joke about what a bunny hugger she is compared to me. She thinks spending a year in the bush with nothing but binoculars would be heaven on earth. And me? Pure torture. Seriously. I love animals. I really do. From a distance. Unless it's a cat. Then I love it up close too. But please don't leave me in the bush somewhere to do birdwatching. Or driving up and down looking for tortoises. Or elephants. And can somebody please explain to me how something THAT enormous can hide away so easily?

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So anyway, I just had to let you know that you better not dash off into the bush on a porcupine safari anytime soon. There are not hundreds of them lurking behind every blade of grass anymore.

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Sad but true.

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And now I will refrain from talking about That Spiky Thing again.

Because it's still a bit of a prickly subject. c",)

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Oh and about the zebras. Yes, we see zebra pretty much every day here. But only because our neighbour has a herd of them on his farm. They don't roam around the countryside. Unfortunately. But we've become so used to seeing them that we hardly bat an eyelash in their direction. Robin calls them donkeys in pyjamas!

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One last word about That Spiky Thing... This is his cousin, the humble hedgehog:-

(One of my favourite ads on our tee vee here in South Africa.)

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Of Frogs and Outcomes

My yesterday started with me climbing out of bed to get dressed. And stepping on a loving gift that one of my cats had left for me beside my bed. And it just happened to be something that bursts when you stand on it. From what I could make out as I tried my best not to add some of my supper to the mess scraped the gooey remnants from my footsole, it appeared to be a frog. And that set the tone for the remainder of what turned out to be Cycle Day One.

And this is what I spent the remainder of Cycle Day 1 doing...

- Asking God to help me be ok.
- Had lunch at a friend's house. Where there happened to be some other friends invited who had their baby three weeks ago.
- Endured much ooh-ing and ahh-ing.
- Asking God to give us a baby, for Robin's sake and not for mine. I'm done asking for myself.
- Holding friend's baby and wishing it was mine.
- Praising God for life. And asking Him to help me reconcile the fact that I probably will never hold my own baby. And to help me be ok with that eventuality.
- More ooh-ing and ahh-ing.
- Listened to lots of unsolicited advice from old aunties who have heard that I should just adopt and I'll miraculously fall pregnant soon after that.
- Refrained from telling them that right now it is impossible for a white South African to adopt. That I had personally phoned twelve adoption agencies and not ONE of them had been willing to even write down my name, because their waiting lists are 11,000 strong. And that if we were to adopt a baby with a different ethnic group to mine, I'd have to raise that child exactly as if I were it's ethnic equal. Which I wouldn't be able to do. Seeing as I am, unfortunately, not a Zulu. Or Xhosa. And therefore do not know how to raise a child as one.
- Nodded and said "Yes, I have heard stories like that before."
- Spent a lot of time staring at the baby and wondering if they would be able to catch me if I grabbed her and made a dash into the mountains considering my chances of ever acquiring having one of my own.
- Listened to four of the women talk about how "next time I fall pregnant, I'll definitely not have an epidural." And trying my best to look comfortable.
- Wondered if my friends would ever get past the Babymaking Age.
- Wondered if I would ever make it to the other side.
- Looked forward to the ripe old age of fifty, by which age, surely, I would no longer have to juggle wanting to spend time with my friends and wanting to avoid them because they are either pregnant, or trying to fall pregnant, or nursing, or only talking about how cute their little one is because they're now walking / talking / sitting on their own / starting school soon.
- Wondered if I would still have anything in common with them, by then.
- Thanked God that at least one of my friends will never have children, because of circumstances in her life which don't allow for it.
- Felt guilty for being so selfish.
- Asked God to forgive me for being resentful.
- Tried not to weep when Robin held the baby and remembered again that if it weren't for ME, he'd have been a father years ago already.
- Begged God to grant our request for a child, for Robin's sake. Again.
- Listened to some more unsolicited advice from grannies who never had problems conceiving, but who have all the answers.
- Eventually escaped Came home and had friends come to visit.
- Including the one I'm convinced is pregnant!

Am I a sucker for punishment or what?

Wait Schmait

My babe-dar has been pinging around one of my friends for like the past three months. I am convinced she's preggy. She hasn't put on major weight or anything like that. But I pick up preggovibes every time I'm near her. I eventually get to the point where I just can't resist anymore, so I wait until we're alone and then I ask her. And every time she has adamantly denied it, but I see the small smile linger around her mouth, and her eyes twinkle. And when she thinks nobody is looking, I've seen her hand rest on her (still flat-ish) belly. And then I wonder if I'm going totally cuckoo's or if she really IS pregnant and just doesn't want anyone to know yet...

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Maybe I'm just totally lobsided in this department and hypersensitive about it. But I am totally obsessed with the marvel of it too. I think of her ALL. THE. TIME. I just know she's pregnant. And a few months along already.

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And yet she still denies it.

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It's driving me crazy.

As if I wasn't crazy enough to begin with.

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It's probably the Dragon Pills' fault. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.

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Speaking of which - are my n*pples supposed to be this sore on The Dragon Pills? Maybe it's a combo of having had some boob renovations, AND taking the pills? If any of you can relate, some advice would be much appreciated. Right now I wouldn't mind surgically removing them and putting them in a basket to carry around with me instead of having to grit my teeth when I'm walking. And, no, I'm almost sure I'm not pregnant, so don't go and leave comments saying that "you know you get sore boobs when you're preggy, don't you?" alright? Because I just know somebody's going to say that, and believe me, this body of mine is not telling me I'm preggy ok? So none of those comments please. I'm just saying.

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At this stage in The Waiting Game, there's no Hoping. Just waiting. And obsessing about this friend of mine who I'm convinced is preggy and not telling anyone.

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And going crazy.

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Who ever thought that two weeks could take this long?

Going home

We are travelling home today. I am so excited! But I know it's going to be a very painful journey. Five hours in a vehicle, hugging a cushion to my chest to minimize bounce. I've already popped some big bomb painkillers. Just in case. Can't wait to be in my home though. In my bed. With my couch. My kitties. With my remote control. et Cetera. Yay! It's been a really cushy stay here at my tjommie's house. But for a non-mom, it's been hard too. I can quite happily say that I never want to hear another Cedarmont Kids song ever again. Ever. As in, till I die one day. But other than that - I can only gush about how wonderful my tjommie's been. (She doesn't read my blog, so this isn't for her benefit, ok?) Talk about looking after an invalid. I owe her big time. I know what a pain in the oo-all I can be when I'm feeling rotten. Any ideas what a really grateful big-boobed person can buy as a thank you for someone special who went beyond the call of duty to make a miserable invalid feel comfy?

She came bearing gifts

Looking back, I don’t know when I stopped believing it. But when my friend popped over yesterday to bring me some “get well soon” gifts and offer me some encouragement I was astounded by how much I really drank in her words and the love that motivated them. She said to me, “Char, yesterday morning God impressed on me that I should come to visit you and tell you that He loves you” and I felt my heart pounding in my ears. Literally, that coldness swept over me from head to toe, followed immediately afterwards by that searing heat that radiates from deep down and finally makes it’s way to your face, like a deeply embarrassing “caught with your hand in the cookie jar” feeling. Like somehow, she could see right to the very heart of me. Her eyes searched my face and I felt laid bare. Like she knew, somehow. She knew that I no longer believed it. And she followed God’s prompting to come and tell me – ME! – that He loves ME and wants me to know it. There was an awkward silence. She was silent. I was silent. But she kept her eyes focused on me. Smiling eyes. But still, those eyes. On me. I hated knowing she knew. I hated the feeling that she was certain I needed to hear this. And that she wasn’t going to leave or leave me alone until I knew it again. Until I was as certain about it as she was. That God really loves me. I wished she would go away and leave me alone. But an overriding compulsion to keep her there with me, to make her say it again, kept my mouth zipped. I watched her and she watched me back. Still, that silence. Then she said it again. She said, “Char, God sent me to tell you this. He loves you. And He lets things happen. He ordains it. He knows what’s happening. And He is still your Father.” He knows this is happening? He knows I’m walking away from Him. Quietly. Unobtrusively, slipping away. Unnoticed? Clearly not! He knows I don’t know how to talk to Him anymore. He knows I don’t feel His love. Or that He evens sees me anymore. He knows I feel overlooked and punished. Abandoned by Him. He knows! “He is still your Father, and He cares more than you can comprehend it.”

My friend could never have understood just how much I needed to hear those words. She came bearing gifts. Beautifully wrapped with organza ribbon and decorated in my favourite autumn colours. But the biggest gift she left with me was the assurance of this God whom I don’t understand. A God who loves even me and wants me to know it. A God who came, bearing gifts. The gift of salvation. Of an eternity with Him. And mostly, the gift of His love. Undeserved. Unwarranted. Misunderstood. But still. Love. For even me.

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P.S. I've been booked off until Friday. This flu has me in it's clutches!