The one where we forbid boyfriends

Its been about a year and a half now that Jesse has been going to Nursery School, while the parentals are hard at work.  Needless to say, this has instigated many an interesting conversation, as Jesse watches the other children at school, then brings her endless quest for knowledge home.

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Something else that she brought home with her was a sudden interest in little boys.  Which was never more pointedly obvious than one day not too long ago, when I arrived at her school to collect her.  

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A little boy with pouty lips & a missing tooth came running up to Jesse-Lee and myself, then promptly informed me that Jesse-Lee is his girlfriend. I stuttered out an "oh really???" just before he put his arms around her, puckered up & planted a big pouty kiss on her lips! 

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Then, with his arms still rather comfortably draped about her shoulders, he stood there beaming at her with his toothless grin & big soppy eyes.

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At this point I might or might not have been gasping desperately for oxygen and clutching at my chest while seeing stars and imagining the ground opening up and sucking him in.

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After I had extricated his tentacles from around my girlchild's shoulders, I made for the exit sign with the dust beating at our heels.

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Once in the car, I said to Jesse: "Girly, WHO is that boy???"

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Her reply:  "That is Thomas.  He's my boyfriend!"

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Lots of near-fainting on my part.

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Later, when the dear hubsband arrived home, I tell Robin the "boyfriend" at school story. 

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Lots of laughing ensues. 

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Later, he casually says to Jesse, "Jesse, you mustn't kiss the boys at school." 

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Jesse: "No, Daddy, I really like it!" (At this point, lots of dizziness and hot flushes)

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Robin: "You are not allowed to kiss boys until you're 35 yrs old!"

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Jesse:  "No, Daddy, I can kiss boys."

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Robin: "Don't, girlie. Boys have germs!"

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Jesse: "Ew! I'm never ever kissing boys ever again!"

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Scare tactics. They work. Hehe!

Stop smiling at me, Mom, I've still waking from my nap!

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Bye, bye, Bottle Monster!

A number of you have been asking how it's going with Jesse's eating. Or lack thereof. And whether or not we have managed to hang onto our sanity from the trauma of it all! What with my propensity for sticking my head in the sand and pretending that everything's ok and all finding alternate amusement while the food is hitting the wall. Or escaping to Cape Town for a galavant with my friend while Robin attempts to food-train our kid.

My timing's always been great that way.

I was SO happy to escape! My child has been known to throw a hissy fit or two that would take a few years off of your life. And I seriously wasn't looking forward to the pillava when we would need to get Jesse to sleep without her beloved bottle!

Anyhoo, what I didn't tell you the day we took Jesse to the doc, was that when we climbed into the car outside the doctor's rooms, Robin sat Jesse down for a heart-to-heart and said something like this: "Jesse-Lolli, you are a big girl now, see. No more bottles. Only babies drink bottles. Jesse's a big girl now, so Jesse's going to eat lots and lots of yummy food, ok? Bottles are for babies and Jesse isn't a baby anymore. OK?" All the while, Jesse listented intently, nodded here and there, then proceeded to wail heart-wrenchingly for a good few minutes after the speech. As if she actually understood!

And she hasn't ONCE asked for her bottle since then! Seriously. Who is this little girl, and what has she done with the real Jesse-Lee?

She now eats as if there's an impending famine (She gets that from me!), and sleeps. RIGHT THROUGH the night! Without waking up three or eight times asking for a new bottle! No more wake-ups all night for me! Woot!

Needless to say, there's a whole lot more happiness in the Hillbilly Household. Less bananas. Less pasta. But who's counting?

One for the road... Or, um, clouds?

I'm sitting at the airport now, waiting to board. I am SO sad my little holiday with my friend is over! This getaway was balm for my heart.
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I said goodbye to the sea as we drove past the beach one last time en route to the airport. I literally rolled down my window and let the air blast through my hair as I shouted my goodbyes to Hout Bay... Llandudno... Table Mountain... The V&A Waterfront... And now my fave store, Woolies.
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So sad I am to be leaving The Mother City of Africa.
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Joey and I have a plan. We're going to try to twist our hubsband's arms to allow us to make this an annual gig. Just the two gals galavanting around our fave place on the planet. Whether or not they go for it is another story entirely.
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I might need to whip out the ol' lingerie and ask him while he's distracted. If you know what I mean.
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Wink wink.
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On the other hand, just LOOK how naughty I get when I'm away from my man!!! Terrible! Joey, you're a bad influence, my friend! ;o) But I love you to bits and pieces and I simply can't wait for our next trip together!
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Heaven on Earth

I flew into Cape Town this morning for a few days with one of my bestest buddies ever, Joey. From where I'm seated right now, this is my view... (See pics below... I'm publishing this post from my blackberry and I haven't figured out yet how to move the pics around in my blog post. Hehe!)
While I'm here I'll just be posting pics, not actual words. Seeing as I'm on holiday and all. Enjoy the pics and I'll chat to you again once I'm back home at the Hillbilly Dump on the weekend. Oh, and remind me to tell you how it's going with the dear hubsband and our Nocturnal Bottledrinking Monster ok?
Toodle dooo!
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Party. Two Weeks. My place...

...if we survive until then, that is.
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Long story.
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Ah, what the hello. Might as well tell y'all about it. Pull up a chair. This could take a while. See, in addition to being an undisciplined parent, I've also been indulgent. My girlie is now 19 months and 9 days old. And still doesn't eat. As in, has never had a complete meal. Does not, WILL not eat. Refuses.
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She's nothing if not tenacious. Very stubborn this one. Gets that from me.
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So, we've been compensating for the lack of food by allowing her to drink of her bottle whenever she wants it. Because, you know, POOR CHILD! She must be STARVING! Only problem with that is, I've had to get out of bed to make bottles between three and six times per night, every night. For the past 19 months and 9 days.
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Not that I'm counting or anything.
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Needless to say, there's only SO long that you can go without sleep before you land up two or three sandwiches short of a picnic.
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And seriously - have you seen the state of my bags??? Under my eyes, I mean. Beauty Sleep? Ha! The only thing beautiful on me right now is my new pair of jeans. (Woot for holidays with malls nearby!!!)
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Anyhoo. One too many nights of six wake-ups meant I "woke up" (figure of speech, considering) with a serious bee in my bonnet to break the cycle. Sis-in-law recommended a great doc locally who says it like it is. Apparently he's a paediatric surgeon. I could be wrong. Things are a bit fuzzy. But he has a string of letters behind his name, so me thinks he's a big shot.
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A very nice big shot, it turns out. And boy, does he tell it like it is. My kind of doctor. We chatted for a while, he asked a bunch of questions, checked Sugar Booger out, then sat us down for a tongue lashing long chat.
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He says:-

1. Jesse has a drinking problem! She wakes up so often every night because she needs to have a drink. And she won't go back to sleep without it. Hence, the drinking problem.
   
2. Jesse should have been sleeping through the night by the age of six months. (Amen and amen!)
   
3. She should have been drinking no more than 400ml of formula daily by the age of one year.
4. She drinks such a lot because WE allow her to do so. (ouch!)
   
5. Therefore she isn't hungry because she's getting adequate nutrition from the formula.
6. She takes in most of her nutrition nocturnally because that's when we're most likely to put up the least fight. (Sneaky bugger!)
7. If we don't put a stop to it, she will have us wrapped around her little finger before long. (Hello. Did he read my blog post from the first of Jan?)
   
8. She will not learn to speak if she doesn't learn to eat.
9. She will not eat if we keep giving her a bottle.
10. She is strong-willed and will fight us for a few weeks.

He instructed us to throw away all of her bottles and formula immediately, so that when we're sleep-deprived and weak and want to give in to her ferocious demands, we won't be able to give in. Clever man.
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He instructed us to buy a bunch of sippy cups and to only give her water or rooibos tea. So we'll basically be starving her of her nutrition to FORCE her to start eating.
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My shattered nerves!
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Thankfully, he has given us a bottle of mooti to help her to sleep through for the next ten nights, just to break the waking habit, and to help us to catch up on some lost ZZZzzzzz's and hopefully be stronger in the daytime when it will require some willpower to say no.
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Tonight is the first night with no bottle.
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Lord have mercy!
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Thank Heavens tomorrow I am absconding to Cape Town for three nights, so it will be Robin's problem while I'm away.
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My hubby is going to deserve an industrial-sized smooch when I return from my galavanting around the Cape! And if we happen to survive the next few weeks without caving and buying copious amounts of formula and new bottles, there just might be a party at my place in two weeks. For the rest of us who might or might not have a drinking problem of our own by then...
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And that's about all that I have to say about that.

Loving the Beach!

Cape Town, oh, Cape Town, how I love thee!

One of my best friends, Joey, has treated me to the gift of a lifetime! She has bought me a flight to Cape Town for a few days. Alone! Just meeeeee! And her, waiting for me that side.
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It's difficult to tell you just how excited I am to be going back to my favourite city on the continent, for a few days. Just thinking about the trip conjures up wonderful thoughts of sleeping right through the night, eating a whole entire meal without interruption, reading lazily on the patio overlooking the Atlantic, leisurely strolls through malls without apologizing to shop owners... quiet time with my friend, long chats and short naps...
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And four whole days of missing my baby!!! I am absolutely DREADING the missing her. It will be my first trip somewhere without her. I wonder if I will actually be able to enjoy my time there?... I can go, knowing she'll be in the care of the best man on the planet.  What did I do to deserve being married to Robin?
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I fly out early next week, and return Friday. And you'll be the first to know how it went, when I get back.

Merry Christmas!

We would have been in Port Elizabeth this December holiday. Plans changed somewhat when my sister and her hubby decided to buy my parents tickets to spend Christmas with them down under. And leave us behind.
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Not that I'm bitter or anthing.
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So, this year we're with Dear Hubsband's family again. And the funny thing is - I don't know where I prefer to be... with my family or with his! Let's face it. Very few people can say they LOVE their inlaws. I, on the other hand, LURVE mine.
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You might be tempted to think that I'm laying this on a bit thick, because yes, they read my blog. (Hello Mom! Hello Nonks!) And you might be right wrong right...
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But even our friends LOVE my inlaws. And you can ask them if you don't believe me. Our friend Dewald (who absconded South Africa to go and live in North Carolina! Deserter!) even writes my mom-in-law letters. But not us.
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Not that I'm bitter or anything.
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Anyhoo.
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What I was supposed to be blogging about today was that I'm missing my Down Under'ers terribly today. They are eleven hours ahead of us, which makes it almost nine o' clock on Christmas Eve. My family don't do the open-prezzies-on-Christmas-Eve thing. They do the go-to-bed-early-so-that-the-night-passes-quickly-and-we-can-wake-up-to-christmas-morning-sooner thing. So at least I'm not ALREADY missing out on special family time... they're simply too far away for my liking.
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Merry trissmiss to my Down Under'ers. I miss you all terribly.
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And a WONDERFUL Christmas to all my blogging buddies out there!
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Thank you, Jesus, for laying aside Your divinity and coming to our little planet to be born as a little guy in a feeding trough in a stable on the outskirts of Bethlehem, to a little girl who was scoffed at for being knocked up when she wasn't even married and a faithful young man who was ridiculed for standing by her. You are so much more than we deserve and we are so indebted to You!

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P.S. Ms J, I promise I'll post some pics soon ok?

My beautiful babe

The beauty of this daughter of mine just blows me away some days. Recently Robin and I spent the weekend

at a resort on the KwaZulu Natal coast, called Salt Rock. What a spectacularly beautiful place it is! I took a few pics of my two fabe people on the planet, and thought I'd share them with you. (I am still without internet at home... can you believe it????? Me neither!)

Scarce!!!

Oh boy, what can I say? I have missed you all SOOO much... My departure from blogging has been partly due to a sometimes on, sometimes off internet connection and our computer is back at the pc hospital today again being defragged, having viruses destroyed and being reformatted... And partly due to the fact that we've had renovations done at our home and they are still underway... and mostly due to the little monster who keeps climbing onto my lap when I'm seated at the laptop, and has most recently removed (permanently!) our "n" from the keyboard! Which makes for interesting typing, to say the least.

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But my hubby keeps nagging me to get back to blogging.

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I suspect this is because he is tired of listening me to ramble on and on about everyday things, that I would otherwise be sharing with you all...

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So, WHEN I can, I'll be back. Otherwise, when I'm absent, you know it's because of

a) internet

b) computer broken

c) sugar booger distracting me

d) laziness

e) all of the above!

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BUT, I just wanted to say - I am SO HAPPY for Jane, my blogging buddy who has just met her daughter, Gabriella, whom she and her hubby have adopted from China. Jane, not a day passes that I don't think of you and send prayers of praise and gratitude Heavenward, on your behalf.

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And wishing my friend, Marie-Jeanne a very happy birthday for tomorrow, Monday. How I wish I could be there to dop a few cappuccino's with you at a cobblestoned street cafe somewhere in romantic Brussells.... I MISS YOU!

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And, Hanlie, we SO WISH we could meet you in Durban this week to say goodbye before you move to Bangkok!!! We love you and will be praying for you in this ENORMOUS move to the other side of the planet!

Walky Talky

I don't know what all the fuss is about - this walking thing's a breeze! I just PRETEND not to be able to walk properly by myself, so that I get to hold hands with daddy and mommy when I want to explore a bit. And also, my mommy and daddy squeak and squeal when I go walkabout! Very entertaining. If I keep it up, at this rate, they'll still be holding my hands when I walk at 47 years. :o) Hehe. Me thinks that's a plan!

How far we've come!

I sometimes forget just how far we have come, from even just a year and a half ago, to this day. I might get frustrated at Jess and seriously consider growling at her, or I get annoyed when I need to climb out of bed four or five times at night to see to her... and then I was reminded of how badly my heart ached to be able to do these things... to feel a little hand pulling at my jeans, or see those little lips puckered up for a smooch just from me! And I can kick myself for even getting slightly annoyed! Allow me to share an excerpt (or fifty) with you, from my prayer journal.

25 October 2006

Dear Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus and Holy Spirit,

I don't know what to say, but please forgive me. I have been (indirectly) SO angry at You again, that You didn't intervene and allow me to have Jodi-Lee. But at the same time I've been asking You to help me to trust You. I've been struggling, Lord. But You haven't left my side. I've been trying to trust You through it all, but on my own steam, when I really needed to be crouching at Your feet in submission and begging Your intervention and grace. My heart has been in rebellion to You. but You are SO gracious and kind - selfless - that You laid down EVERYTHING to redeem me at great cost - Your own blood! - How can I then rebel against You for not intervening in this one aspect for me? O God, thank You for teaching me that "the glory that shines from Jesus' face is the glory of selfless love. [Your] sacrifice on Calvary shows that the law of selfless love is the law of life for earth and heaven. This selfless love comes straight from the heart of God." {from the book called 'Messiah' chapter 1} So, when I am selfish it is because I am not activated by YOUR heart and spirit. If you live in me, selflessness will be my natural tendency. Oh God, please come and live in me again! Please may I be led of Your Spirit and be living in Your presence and freely give my rebellious heart's desires and trust You selflessless with that which I desire more than anything in this world: a baby. Please God, I am so tired of hurting with this. I just want to give it to You once and for all and experience peace in the certainty that You know what You're doing. After all, You are GOD! There is no higher authority! Oh God, pleeeeeeeeez: make me Yours. Please help me to surrender daily and so to love and trust You more every day. Please God, because this is what You desire for me. And because this is exactly what Jesus died to accomplish. A renewed trusting relationship with me. And please, Lord, let it begin NOW.

In Jesus name,

amen.

December 2006

Dear Father in Heaven

What an amazing God You are, and for so long I have lost sight of it. I just want to praise You for helping me through this week. I have FINALLY given up on trying to be pregnant and what a relief it has been for me. You are teaching me what it means to trust You again. Please Lord, don't stop now. You know what You're doing. You know what's best and help me to keep remembering that. Thank You so much!

Amen

26 June 2007

Lord God,

It's astounded me that it has been more than six months since I last wrote in my prayer journal! It is also six months since we stopped trying to get pregnant. Has it also been six months since I last trusted You with my heart's desire??? Has it been six months since I lost myself in You, or has it been even longer?

This has been the hardest time of our lives and I wonder if maybe that's because I didn't really have You in it? You must be so sick and tired of hearing me rededicate my life to You. But I honestly don't know what else to do! I don't know the right way anymore and I can't trust myself to stick by it. Instead, I simply need You in my life, Lord Jesus. I need to know You, so that I will remember how to love You and trust You again. It has been years of this now... I look back in my prayer journal and I am ashamed. I am embarrassed at the monotony of it and that I haven't allowed You the space to work in me. O God, please forgive me! Help me to start anew with You. I really need You leading me. All my efforts have been futile and yet You have remained faithful. You have lifted me up on my weakest days and carried me. And more importantly, You have sustained my life up until now, so that I would have this opportunity to repent. What an awesome God You are!!! You are amazing. Thank You Father in heaven. Thank You for this opportunity to start again. I am so grateful. Please take this gratitude and allow it to grow into Love for You and trust. I want to be saved by You. You have promised that You began a good work in me and that You will be faithful to complete it. Please Lord, would you restart the "factory" again in me, reproducing Your likeness in me. I want my heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh.

For Your glory, Lord!

amen

25 Jan 2008

Lord Jesus,

Perhaps the solution to my see-saw devotions is to stop looking back and to just focus on what You have done for me, today, and to not put pressure on myself for the future? What do You think? Because I seriously don't trust myself to stay devoted to You! On the contrary - YOU never change! Your feelings toward me haven't changed. You died for me already 2000 years before I was even born! How incredible of You! You know the awful path I am bent on and You know where it's leading me. I am so inconsistent! It's always either fervor or failure with me, isn't it? Where is the happy medium? Although, now, when I think of it, that would be lukewarm, wouldn't it? And You've already told us that conclusion. So Lord, all I can do is fall on You, the Rock, and be broken. I am already broken, Lord. This body of mine don't work too good! :o) It's only You who can piece me back together again.

So, help!

Please Lord!

amen

17 March 2008

Father in Heaven

Sometimes I wonder what Your plan is for me. I am trying to trust You. My head tells me that You are God and that You know what You are doing. So I should trust You. But my heart is still breaking! Every baby I see is a fresh reminder. I feel a bit shattered, Jesus. I am REALLY struggling with this again. Where is the baby for us??? What is Your plan??? Whta must we do? It feels as if everything we do gets a green light, but then it just falls through as we move forward. What must we do? Is it just to trust You? I must admit, that is one of the hardest things! Please God, help me to trust You then. If that is all You require, I am going to need Your help with that. Because I am failing dismally. Lord Jesus, please intercede for us and for me in God's throne room! Holy Spirit - I so need You! Without You, this is all hopeless!

Otherwise there's nothing left in this life for me!

amen

27 March 2008

Dear Father in Heaven

The way You are opening doors for us to become adoptive parents just astounds and excites me!!! Oh God, how awesome You are!!! You ask - will I still be faithful to You if You didn't do this for me... I want to answer 'yes' because that's what I have tried to do in these last six or seven years, when we made no progress in the babymaking department. You know how my very heart cried out to You in anguish. You saw me. You still do. And, o God, will this time be You answering 'Yes' ? I pray it is. Oh God, grant Robin and I a family to love. Please Jesus! You created us and told us to have children. Why would You then withold the very thing You have commanded? Especially when miracles are Your specialty? Lord God in heaven, please will You open the doors for us? I already have my heart set on this little baby! But Father, You know the future. Please Lord, if THIS is the baby for US, please let the birthmom sign the consent forms. We have hurt so much in this journey! Lord Jesus, You heart Rachel's prayer and opened her womb. You heard Hannah's prayer too. You heard Abraham and Sarah. Hear me now, Lord. Please. This is my prayer. I know You CAN! But will You? Please Lord, do! And God, I really want to mean this: Your will, not mine.

Help me to mean it?

Amen

28 March 2008

Dear Lord God

I am so excited about the possibilities for us and for the meeting on Tuesday. O Lord I am like a stuck record! But Lord, can I hide anything from You? No. You see my need. You know that we would teach our child(ren) about You. And so, God, please grant us children to love. Fill our home with them so that we can lead them to YOu and so that we will also finally understand the kind of Fatherly love You have for us. How else could we realize the magnificent power of unconditional love?

Amen

9 April 2008

Lord God

Thank You so much for leading and guiding. I want to praise Your holy name. You are eternal, everlasting, all-knowing, all-powerful. You are love. You invented happiness and peace. Without You, that is impossible.
I have read of Your character this morning in Psalm 102. It tells of Your Godness. And then it says in verse 17: "I know that You will respond to the pleas of Your people and that You will not let their prayers go unanswered." Father in Heaven, I know You have heard the pleas of Your people crying out on our behalf. You hear them. You see the birthmom and her unborn child. You know that baby's character. You knit her together in her birthmom's womb. You are the Creator and Giver of Life. Is this the baby for us? Would Y ou give us this little life to love and nurture?

I promise (not as a bargaining tactic) that if You do, o Lord, "What You do will be written down (by me on my blog) for coming generations, and people...will read it and praise You for it." Psalms 102 v 18 with my words in brackets.

For Your glory, Lord Jesus, Father and Holy
Spirit!

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10 April 2008

Father in Heaven

I am growing to love our time together every morning. Thank You for giving me another day, Lord Jesus. You give me the ability to get out of bed every morning and You fill me with peace. It is Your peace, Lord, which has made me calm as we wait on the birthmom's decision. Please Lord, will You lead us? And especially the birthmom's family. Warm their hearts toward us if this is Your will, so that this decision will be an easy one for them. Thank You Lord for everyone who is praying with us, and thank You Lord, that it is a little girl!!!

Thank You!

Thank You!

Thank You!

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17 April 2008

Lord Jesus,

You have opened SO many doors for us to get to this point... You pulled strings to get the other couple out of the picture, who the birthmom had originally chosen as the family for her unborn child. You arranged for our profile to get into her hands. You arranged it months ago that the birthmom's crisis counselor became our friend and then You orchestrated that she also became the birthmom's crisis counselor! You made the birthgranny frustrated enough that she wanted to set up a meeting with us, even though in the social worker's eyes that's not done. And then You made it possible for us to meet with the birthmom and the birthdad too! How many doors You have already opened for us!!! It is so exciting!!! You are answering our prayers. Oh Lord, but now, oh how HARD it is becoming to just sit back and wait while they make a decision! The longer they take, the more I am inclined to think that they aren't choosing us as the family for their baby. Oh God, I am trusting You in all of this, but I am going to be honest when I tell You that this waiting is working on me now. It is grinding on my emotions and I am feeling heartbroken, even though we haven't had an answer yet and they might even still say yes. But at this stage we don't know. And that's the hard part. Waiting. And not knowing. And Lord, You know. You are in control. You know already what they are going to decide. O God, please do this for Robin and I so that I can tell everyone what You have done for us! O Lord, please stretch out Your mighty arm and open their hearts and minds to us, and SOON! Please Lord, TODAY! O Lord, please take this burden of waiting from us. Thank You Lord that You will make Your decision on how to answer this prayer with YOUR will in mind, because You know what's best and because You are teaching me how to trust You again. So God in Heaven, be merciful to me and Robin, please. Look on us with pity, Lord, so that we can be parents, so that we can give this baby a name that will honor You and so that we can teach her to love You and she can be saved by Your grace. O God, please open the doors! Please Lord, look upon us with mercy and favour. May our lives be a testimony to Your grace and power and love.

Please Lord, also be with the birthmom especially today.

Bless her and watch over the little baby.

Please, pick us!!!

Please Jesus.

Please.

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18 April 2008

O Lord!!! Thank You!!! My heart soars in praise to You! You have given us this baby!!! I am so excited and amazed and blessed! So much more than I deserve. This is all only blessing! And so, Father we are going to name her somthing that praises You for the rest of her life:

Jesse-Lee

Jesse meaning "Gift from God" and Lee being Robin's family name, passed down from every firstborn to every firstborn. So, every time we say her name we will be praising You for the gift of her. Praising You! For ever!

Oh, thank You Lord!

Thank You!

Thank You!

And that is how we came to have little Jesse-Lee in our life. The biggest blessing ever! I stand in awe of God when I read back in my prayer journal. What a long journey we walked with God until He blessed us with little Jesse-Lee. How humbling it is to consider that God - the CREATOR of the entire universe - chose us to be the family for little Jesse-Lee. He knit her together in her mother's womb with US in mind. How very humbling and awe-inspiring. I pray daily that God will make Robin and I the kind of parents who will honour His decision to have us parent her. Our gift from God.

Things that make my heart pump lumpy custard

Bliss

(you can see this pic bigger in a new screen if you click on it...)

Happy happy

Yay! A new year, a new time to spend chasing chickens out the house marvelling at God's creation and especially at my banana-pudding and her delicious dimpled cheeks! Here's wishing you all a WONDERFUL year, filled with all of those naughty things that will make you fat. If this year marks another year that you've been ttc, I pray this year holds the fruition of your dreams! Hold on. Keep trying. Don't give up yet!

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As for me, this is going to be my "Happy Year". Last year, at the start of the year I decided that I would be happy even if it totally killed me. And just look how happy 2008 turned out for me. Not that deciding to be happy landed me sugar booger, but at least I was semi-happy along the way. And seriously, how bad can being happy really be?

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So, a marvelously HAPPY 2009 to all of my loony lurkers out there!
Yours in Hillbilliness
Char and her brood
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P.S. I've been trying to post this since the 31st of December. Error schmerror.

Some pics from this past Sunday

Jess just looooves Robin!!! I don't know what it is about him, but the minute she sees him she starts squealing. And boy oh boy, she grabs onto his beard and pulls until he grimaces! I love it! It's just deserts, if you ask me. I knew he'd be a great dad. I just didn't know I'd be standing in a queue for Jess's attention whenever he's around. Bugger. I'm going to need to rectify the situation somehow. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Oh so soppy

I so know that my blog has become totally soppy. Me thinks I might have lost my edge. Maybe that's what becoming a mommy does to you? Oh well, too bad. Let me just plunge ahead and tell you what's on my mind, regardless. And it's short and sweet: It's no secret that I totally adore my hubby... But I never knew that I was capable of loving him even more than I did, when it was just the two of us. Seeing him as a father, as Daddy for Jess, has totally blown my socks off. I don't have a clue what I did to deserve this man of mine. But I'm going to hold onto him with both hands (and feet) for the rest of my life. Just look at these gorgeous pics of my man and our noonoo pie...

Hands off, girls. He's taken.

Doing Moses

It occurred to me this past weekend when one of my best friends asked me, that I hadn't ever told you what became of our adoption of the little boy... remember him? I mentioned him a couple of times. And then a couple more times...

Ja. Well, after so many years of infertility and all of those torture sessions fertility treatments, it was a bit hard for us this infertile to say no to him. I mean - hello! - someone was offering me a baby!!! So we said yes, and then asked God to show us the right thing to do. (Sometimes you have to do the Moses thing and step into the water before the sea parts.) So that's what we did. We said yes. And then we said, "God, You so know that our finances are not going to stretch to meet the needs of two little people right now, please either make a way for us to have both and still be able to put some butter on our bread, or (shudder shudder!) take one baby out of the equation.

People, that's tantamount to declining your lotto winnings!

Anyhoo, the answer came through loud and clear, the first time I laid my eyes on our sweet lil Jesse-Lee. And verbalized when I held her in my arms. How could I share my Jesse-Lee time with another baby? God had provided for us. He heard our cries, saw our need and formed her, for us, in the womb of a sixteen year old girl. That very same week we declined the little boy.

Robin said something to me just the other day. He said, "You know what, Womanofmydreams?" (OK, so he might have said "Char", but I like to think he actually said Womanofmydreams. Or Mylifelongfantasy. Or something like that. Oh, woops... where was I? Oh yes. Robin was saying...) "Seven years ago we started asking God to give us a baby. Our baby. And we couldn't understand why He wasn't answering our prayers. Well, have you realized that when we started asking God for OUR baby, her birthmother was only nine years old? It's no wonder we had to wait so long!"

WOW! I truly hadn't thought of it that way! We HAD to wait seven years, because her birthmom wasn't even near child-birthing age when we started asking! God really did have a WONDERFUL plan for our happiness. He knew all along that Jesse-Lee was on her way... we just had to be patient. God already had His plan for us way back then. I can't believe I had such a hard time trusting. I wouldn't even heed His command to "Be still and KNOW that I AM God."

And now - WOW! - how different things are. Now I get to praise God every time I hear her little voice. Or see her smile. Or hold her fingers while she eats. I rub my cheek against hers and breathe her in, willing her to feel the love oozing from me. I dream dreams for her already. And it's all because God saw fit to grant us our wish. To create one very special little girl, to knit her together in her (birth)mother's womb and give us the privilege and blessing of allowing her to call us mom and dad.

It still totally astounds me.

And listen, if you are still struggling with infertility... I wish I could say that I know things will work out the way you want them to! I wish I knew what the future held for you so that I could encourage you. But, while I don't know those things, I do know that God really LOVES you and wants nothing but your happiness. I struggled with trusting Him when there was no light at the end of our infertility tunnel. I cried out to Him time and again. Sometimes in anger. Sometimes in need. How relieved I am that God isn't intimidated by our feelings. He knows our thoughts. He sees our need.

And today I can tell you that God knew exactly what He was doing when He had me waiting. Because now, when I look at our little Jesse-Lee, I know that she was planned for me from the very start. God made a way! And I will spend the rest of my life praising Him for her.

Tips and Tricks, Edition 2

How could I have overlooked sharing this one with you? If the man in your life is as clever as mine, then right about now, you should be sitting forward in your seat. Allow me to explain. See, when Hubby Dearest and I were freshly-weds back in the day, we were all gung-ho about sharing chores, et cetera, warra warra fish paste. You know, all that pie in the sky / bed of roses kinda stuff. My hubby must've gotten a few tips n tricks from some of his married pals, because come dishwashing time, my hubby galantly volunteered to wash all of the dishes. Wow!, I thought! I totally hit the jackpot with this man of mine! And then Hubby Dearest proceeded to wash the dishes SO BADLY that I politely declined all of his offers to wash the dishes thereafter. See? Totally devious clever man I have.

Fast forward seven and a half years to the arrival of our sugar dumpling. Hubby Dearest galantly offers to share all baby-duties with overtired wife. Can you tell where this is going? Yuuupppp. OK, so we split the chores. Hubby feeds all eight pets and the chickens every night when he gets home. Char feeds the sugar booger. Hubby makes his own supper every night. Char scoffs all the chocolates and crisps in the pantry cupboard eats whatever she can lay her hands on. Hubby takes the early morning shift with the sugar booger (from approximately 4 a.m. until approximately 6:30 a.m.). Char mans the night shift. Both parents are super happy with the very nifty plan, because Char is a night owl anyway, and Robin always wakes up with the fowls anyway. SO... plan is enacted. All's well that almost ends well. Well, until hubby starts rushing the nappy changing in the mornings, because punkin pie is starting to get the wriggles. Great fun. She waits until you're about to close the nappy, then she does the jig and watches you trying to pin her legs down with your elbows and hold the nappy down with your one hand, while pushing the legs away from the sticky part of the nappy and... you get the picture. No problemo for hubby, he just half attaches the nappy, then closes it all with the press-studded vest, hoping it will hold everything in place. Then, at our shift change time, Char finds all manner of interesting things in baby's vest and leggings. If you know what I mean.

Lucky for me, I see through Hubby Dearest's sabotage. Lucky for him, he's friggin hot.

Needless to say, there will be a few lessons in holding down the wriggling monster and strapping her into a poop-catcher nappy-changing taking place in the Hillbilly Household soon. Beginning with how to avoid getting your shoes wet. And that's all I have to say about that.