Wednesday, 30 January 2008

To Hope or Not To Hope

It's back. That silly insatiable craving to be on some or other fertility treatment. Or, more, the dream of being preggy. It's weird how in so long I've hardly thought about infertility, really. OK, I still think about it every day. But I haven't obsessed about it. And now, today, here it is. Back again. In full force.
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If only I had a couple hundred thousand bucks so I could climb back on the fertility treatment bandwagon again. Funny how the wheel turns. I hated hated hated Hoping. Now here I am wishing I even had an opportunity to hope. But we can't afford even ONE more treatment. So, even Hoping is out of reach.
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It's a little bit sucky.
Not too bad. Just a little bit.
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Which means that slowly but surely, I must be "getting over" being infertile. I think.
I hope.


4 comments:

Zar said...

Ride with it my friend....feeling for you, praying for you!

Zar

Anonymous said...

Cant we use your blog to raise some money, I know of another friend in the computer that raised money for her gardener with great success. Thinking of you & feeling for you and praying for you.
Karen

Char said...

Hi Karen
Great idea about fundraising - but I so don't want to make my "readers" feel an obligation towards me. And I also don't feel comfortable soliciting dosh from people I've never even "met" before either. And I know which person you're talking about with the gardener (I read her blog too! haha!) and I don't want to be doing that. I'm a stubborn old mule. Wait, make that a stubborn old INFERTILE mule. haha! Thanks for the thought though. That's very kind!

MLO said...

I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. Do you ever read Pamela Jean's coming2terms.com blog? She has a lot of insightful and helpful stuff to say.

I have to say, that from your blog, I think you are handling it all very gracefully by filling up your life.