Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Popular Schmopular

Me thinks this adoption thingy is a bit like a popularity contest. Only, you don’t really get to show how Exceptionally Gorgeous And Cool you are until the family actually meets you – and to all intents and purposes that only happens after they’ve already chosen you. And all that from a piece of paper on which you’ve written (or typed in a very nifty-looking font so as to make it look as if you’ve handwritten it all neatly…) a few choice bits of well edited information about yourself. And placed a few very good photos of yourself, making sure you’re also always smiling in the photos of course, into the letter as well. And don’t forget that you also need to choose photos that hide all your wobbly bits too. Which considerably decreases the amount of usable pics, if you know what I’m saying. Especially when you’re a big girl. Now, I’m not saying that I’m fat exactly. Just big-boned, you know. The kind of body where you always had to stand in the back row for school class photos. With the boys. Because you actually dwarfed a few of them. I’ve been described as “quite strong” before. Which always translated as “built like a walrus” in my head. So, I dare you – just try finding a few pics of yourself looking happy, smiling, semi-skinny and like the type of mommy that you think some anonymous person might like, for a letter in which you attempt to charm them into giving you their baby. It’s easier to find Brad Pitt in real life, let me tell you.


Especially when most of the photos you have of yourself were taken on one of your fat days. Or bad hair days. By someone who isn’t really a good photographer, and so captures you either with your eyes half closed or with your hand still patting down your frizzy hair. Or digging out a stray nostril noogie. I'm just saying.


But maybe, just maybe, they’ll overlook all that and choose me based on my remarkably breathtaking taste in shoes.



Then again, maybe they just see a walrus in flowery shoes. You just can't win.


7 comments:

Aurette said...

I am sure that if they just read your blogg then you will choose you. I hate this waiting... I am not very patient... don't know how you do it......

Andria said...

I can't imagine the stress of trying to write that letter. Keeping my fingers crossed for good news!

Heath said...

I am sure they thought you are very beautiful and vivacious, cause those shoes don't do it for me. (conservative charl)

Katrin said...

haha! I am a walrus, too. But, if I was looking for a mom for my child, I wouldn't care if their hair looks pretty or if they're really skinny. In fact, strongly built women would be more interesting, as I have this prejudice that skinny women are mean and won't let their kids ever have any candy and an apple is a treat they'll only get once a week.

Rita said...

I love your shoes.
Rita

Carla said...

LOVE the shoes, and I'm praying they are able to see what a great Mom you will make!

You know, some of those photos, you could ask a friend to photoshop them slightly. Liguify this, liquify that, brighten those eyes, erase those under eye circles, erase that fly away hair.....or yes, even swap heads in photos. ;) BTW, something I learned, you always see yourself in a mirror. Thus, in photos you are seeing the reverse of what you are used to seeing. Which, in the end, means that you don't like yourself in photos because something is off. Flip the image like you saw it in a mirror and it's great.

Ally said...

I can't imagine anyone *not* picking you, my dear. You are lovely both inside and out and any woman worth her salt would see that and be grateful to choose you!