Thursday, 14 June 2007

Undeserving but Overjoyed!

It has taken me forever to write this post. Mostly because I am so flabbergasted that I stared at my blank screen for about three hours while I tried to fathom this AMAZING blessing we're being given and tried to find the right words to share it with you.
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To heck with right words! Here's what's up:-
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One of my best friends just phoned from Brussells yesterday to offer to surrogate for Robin and I! She WANTS to do this for us! Can you believe it? It is just so beyond my wildest imaginings that someone would WANT to do this for us! And I am so unbelievably grateful and blessed and overjoyed and relieved and tearful and gobsmacked and totally flabbergasted by their offer. Where could I ever find the right words to Thank them for what they're offering us? I mean, how do you thank someone for offering you the fruit of their loins? I mean? Is there a precedent for such a thing? Not in my life there isn't. My friend is willing to do this for me, because she loves me that much! It totally bowls me over.
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I honestly cannot comprehend this thing. How blessed I am to have friends like I do.
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Just two days ago I was distraught and destroyed and depressed and dismayed and discouraged. Just two days ago, I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Just two days ago, life looked seriously bleak to me. What a difference that one phonecall from Brussells has made for Robin and I.
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I feel so silly, in retrospect, for being so disappointed in God and even more so, for being so vocal about it. He knew all along, that there would be a telephone call made to me yesterday. And He was waiting patiently in the wings for His time to take centre stage again. I feel so silly for "blaming God" for not answering my prayers. Well, that's how it felt, at least. I was so tired of getting silence in response to my questionings, that I'd gotten to the point where I just didn't ask anymore. I just did my own thing, speaking to God, but not asking for His opinion. Like I told you guys yesterday. And now - it's like a total paradigm shift. I'm looking back at this situation from a totally different perspective. I'm looking back and seeing His faithfulness. And not just because now there's HOPE in my life again... but because He really was with me through this whole thing! His ears are never busy on someone else's prayer call. His door is always open. In fact, more than that, He's been knocking on my door! I heard Him knocking! I heard Him calling my name! I just didn't know what to do with Him anymore. I didn't know how to proceed with Him at the helm anymore. And all along, He actually was at the helm.
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Silly me! This God who did everything He could to save us, He will never leave us in the lurch. He is a faithful God. And I'm so grateful that I have Him.
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And my friend Marie-Jeanne, who'll be baking a babe in her oven for me soon!

Edited to add:- By the way, when we told my mom and dad, Robin phoned and shared the good news, then said to her that he was going to be flying over to Brussells soon and hiring a hotel room for him and for Marie-Jeanne for the weekend! hahahahaha! You know, he knows exactly how to tease my mom. And then do you know what she said? "Well, ok then, you have my permission!" hahahahaha
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And just so you know, he was joking! We'll do this all the proper, scientific, medical route. Just so you know!


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Char (and Marie Jeanne)
This is the best news that I have heard! Answer to pray! You are so right, how can one repay such a wonderful and unselfish gesture as what Marie Jeanne has done?! Words cannot begin to express the appreciation that one feels. Really it is answer to prayer. The best news of the year.....

Do you realise that now that all is in place, that you too are now moving away.... what is it with people who have kids that they move away......???

I can just see mom.... listening, nodding her head.... blinking and then agreeing .... can't you? She surprises me everyday.

Look forward to hearing all the logistical plans that now need to be made etc. I know that this is what is meant to be, don't you?

Love Aurette

Irritable Mother said...

Dear Char,
I wanted to comment some more last night, but "things" took me away from the computer. (You'll understand those things in the near future! *grin*) so I've been thinking about you this morning and was praying for you, too.
How wonderful it is to come back and read your good news!
I was thinking about you feeling cold, and thanked God for getting your attention that way. I prayed He would cover you with His love.
And today as you recognize God knew the phone call was coming, I am reminded of His patience with us. I don't believe He was mad at you for doubting - just waiting for the right time when He knew you would be most ready to receive this gift.
You're right - He really WAS with you through this whole thing, and He will remain!
Rejoicing with you,
Karen

May said...

Hey, what news! Congrats! Thanks for investigating my blog... I'll be following your adventures in surrogacy.

Spanglish said...

Oh Char it seems God answers when we need Him the most.

When I found out about my student becoming pregnant and considering abortion I raged to God. I cried to him as I was driving home, and in my front yard I shook my fists and asked Him why it felt like He hated me. I had no idea at that moment I was already pregnant.

I'm humbled, but overjoyed. I understand wholly how you feel about your beautiful friend Marie Jeanne and God's blessing you with that friendship.

This was a beautiful post.

Carla said...

Oh WOW! It's amazing to me how God will answer prayers, and how things can seem so bleak one day and then the very next day you have so much HOPE.

Marcia said...

This is wonderful news, Char. I'm sure you can't stop smiling and crying (because of GOd's goodness) and smiling